


Rethink and Rebound

by somanyfeels



Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Anxiety Attacks, Domestic Violence, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt Tony, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Misunderstandings, Multi, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Past Child Abuse, Past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Protective Rhodey, Protective Steve, Rape/Non-con Elements, References to Civil War, Rhodey Is a Good Bro, Sexual Coercion, Slow Burn, Tony Angst, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-05-09 18:51:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 29,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5551412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somanyfeels/pseuds/somanyfeels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony had been a mess ever since he and Pepper broke up.  He was drinking, sleeping around, and the team seemed more disappointed than surprised.  So when a seemingly average one-night stand turns into something more serious, they're pleased that he finally starts to settle down.  And Tony is happy with his new boyfriend, for a while.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Iron_Tony604](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iron_Tony604/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a gift that I've been meaning to write for a while. This is only the first chapter, but it will touch on a lot of issues later on in the story so please read the tags before proceeding. Thank you!

The thing was, Tony didn’t remember sleeping with the guy.  He didn’t remember meeting him at the gala, he couldn’t recall making out with him at the bar, or getting in the taxi with him to go back to his hotel.  Tony had no memory of the sex either, but he woke up feeling like it was pretty good.  He was sore, every inch of him screamed as if the activities from the night before had been rougher and more enthusiastic than he was used to.  That was saying a lot.

The sex wasn’t really his concern, Tony didn’t care if he had sex with some strange man after some gala for one charity or another.  What did startle him was that he didn’t remember, Tony hadn’t drunk so much that he couldn’t remember the night before in years.  He didn’t want to think of the reasons he had for doing it now.

“Last night was great.”  The man next to him said.  Tony hummed in acknowledgement.

He felt sick.  He definitely drank more than he had in a long time just based on the hangover.  He was going to throw up, like some teenager just learning how to drink for the first time.  It was ridiculous.  Tony didn’t even think he could get to the bathroom, the thought of moving making him feel sicker than he already was.

“We should do that again.”  The man said, his mouth dripping to Tony’s bare shoulder.  “I’m free tonight if you want, or right now.”

Tony rolled over, the hotel room seemed nice enough.  The man had money, enough to afford five star hotels.  Five Star hotels generally had incredibly comfortable beds and amazing showers.  The place was comfortable enough, no need to rush himself.  He closed his eyes and buried his face into the pillow, the sun was a bit too bright today.

He probably would have gone back to sleep if not for the hands running up and down his back.  The touch was light, soft.  It tickled more than it soothed.  The hands were soon accompanied by a mouth leaving gentle kisses over his back and neck.

“Hey.”  Tony said, his voice rough and his throat dry.  “I bet last night was incredible.  Probably had the time of my life.  But I’m hungover as hell right now and not up for another bout at the moment so why don’t you go do something and I’ll pay for the room later.”

The man paused, Tony didn’t have the energy to care.  The bed shifted, the movement jostling Tony too much and the nausea almost overcame him.  This was horrible, he didn’t even remember drinking, much less enough to cause him to black out and get the worst hangover of his life.  The man climbed off the bed and Tony could hear his footsteps walking away, tapping against the tiles as he went into the bathroom.

This was a nice hotel.  The sheets were soft and smooth, smelled vaguely of sweat and sex and all other things that hinted at what had happened the night before.  He was warm, Tony rolled over so that his back was to the window and pulled the blanket higher around his shoulders.  He could sleep for a while, he had nothing planned for the day.

“Hey, Tony.”  The man said.

Tony cracked one eye open to look at him.  He was handsome enough, Tony found it easy to believe that he would sleep with him.  His hair was a mess of dark curls and a well-groomed beard, his skin a beautiful, golden tan.  He seemed tall too, from Tony’s point of view lying on the bed.  A handsome man, Tony had taken home worse looking people when under the influence.

“Drink this, you’ll feel better.”  The man held out a glass of water and crouched down to help him drink.

Tony lifted his head slightly and let the man put the glass at his lips.  This guy seemed nice enough.  Tony closed his eyes as he pulled away and let his head fall back onto the pillow.  He was exhausted, could already feel himself dropping back off to sleep.  When he wakes up he’ll have to head back to the tower, if he puts it off for too long them he’ll just have to think of a better excuse.  The team will ask questions, Tony needed answers.

The man pulled back the blankets and Tony felt him climb in beside him.  Odd, but okay.  Tony didn’t mind cuddling.  The man pressed against his back and wrapped his arms around Tony’s waist.  His touch was still soft and he was warm, Tony fell asleep easily in the embrace.

He didn’t dream.

“Shit, are you still here?”  Tony asked when he still felt the weight of the man against him.  He had to have been asleep for hours.  The clock read well past noon and the sun was no longer shining in through the windows.  “Must have been pretty good sex if you stuck around this long for round two.”

He still felt sore, his body aching as he moved to try and sit up.  The man helped him, steadying hands keeping him upright.  He was fully clothed now, a tablet lying across his lap.  Even though he waited, it was clear that he was doing something else, keeping himself occupied until Tony was up.

“Didn’t have to wait.  I would have paid for the room, just like I said.”  Tony said.  He scooted towards the edge of the bed and started looking around for his clothes.

“No, it’s not that.”  The man said.  “You just seemed really sick so I wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

“Shit, you’re nice.”  Tony said.  He let his head fall into his hands as he tried to rub away the exhaustion.  He probably was sick, all the drinking last night and the hangover combining to leave him open to catch the flu.  Bruce probably had a better explanation on how these things worked, but Tony felt horrible.  “Look, you seem really great, but I’m not up for more sex.  I bet it was great sex, I’m still feeling it if that means anything, but I just want to go home.”

“Oh, sure!”  The man said, his voice sounding perfectly content with Tony’s decision.  “You seem pretty sick, I can just drive you home now.”

Tony shook his head.  Great, this guy was considerate too.  Or an overenthusiastic fan.  Either way he needed to stop being so nice and cheerful, it was too early for all of that and Tony’s head was pounding.  “No, it’s fine.  I’ll call my driver.”  Or the suit.  The hud display might be too bright though, even if it will get him home sooner.  Driver it is.

He bent down and grabbed his pants, wrinkled from where they had been casually thrown on the ground.  Ten thousand dollar suit, tossed aside for a night of sex he doesn’t even get to remember.  The man walked over and helped him stand, holding him steady as Tony buttoned his pants and then helped him pull on his shirt.  It was ridiculous, Tony wanted to push him away and insist that he was fine, but his legs weren’t steady, he couldn’t keep his balance.

“It’s fine, Tony.  I have no problem driving you.”  The man said as they made their way towards the door.  “Besides, we can get you home and into bed before your driver even has time to drive all the way over here.  Just let me help.”

Tony wanted to continue arguing.  On any other day he would have, but he was ten seconds away from just face planting onto the ground and staying there until he magically got better.  Every inch of his body felt run down, either in pain or too tired to move.  He let the man support him as they made their way down the hall and into the elevator.  Tony’s eyes had slid closed when they finally opened.  He focused on his breathing.  His heart felt like it was fluttering a bit too fast, his breathing was shallow and shaky.  The flu must really have hit him hard this year.

“The room.”  Tony said.  The man had opened the door to his car and carefully set Tony into the passenger seat.  He looked up at him and frowned.

“We paid for it last night.  Remember?”  He said, smiling widely as he buckled Tony in.  He felt like a child, he didn’t need someone to take care of him like this, but he didn’t try to stop him.

When the man, the stranger, got into the seat next to him and drove out of the parking garage, Tony realized that this was dangerous.  It could end in a thousand terrible ways.  Usually he was quicker to pick up on when he was being kidnapped or someone was a bit too enthusiastic to get him alone.  The man seemed to be heading in the right direction, heading for the large tower in the distance that held the symbol Tony knew well.  He wasn’t being kidnapped, he was being driven home by a polite and friendly man after a one-night-stand.  If he was to be kidnapped then it would have happened that night while Tony slept.

There was nothing to worry about.  He was driven straight back to the tower, no detours, no malicious kidnappings.  The parking garage was secure, Friday must have seen him in the car’s window for them to get in without trouble.

“Thanks for the ride.  If I puked on anything last night then just send me the dry cleaning bill.”  Tony said as he fumbled with his seatbelt.  This didn’t make sense, his fingers usually had more dexterity than this.  He could handle delicate machinery, he once had to repair a computer chip with incredibly precision.  On game nights he never lost a round of Operation.  Why weren’t his hands working now?

The man got out of the car and helped him.  Fuck this.  Fuck his body for deciding to quit on him, fuck the flu for being an asshole, fuck this guy for being so nice and understanding and helpful.  Tony didn’t need this.  He didn’t need to feel so useless and incompetent.

Still, he was dead weight as the man practically carried him towards the elevator.  Tony was simply proud of the fact that his feet were still under him so he could at least pretend that he was walking.

“Stark, what happened to you?”  Steve said the moment the elevator door opened to Tony’s penthouse.

“Sick.  You know, us normal people still get sick from time to time.”  Tony said.  He let his eyes fall closed again.  He never realized just how much energy went into keeping them open.  “So, now I’m going to head to bed and sleep until I die.”

The man holding him chuckled.  “Nah, you won’t die.  If you did it would be a tragedy.  The whole world will cry out in mourning.”  He said, his voice relaxed and playful.

“See, this is how I deserve to be talked to.”  Tony said.  He leaned more against the man, suddenly thankful for his presence.  “What are you doing on my floor?  Personal space.”

“I was looking for you.”  Steve said.  Tony didn’t feel like opening his eyes to look at him, but he could tell that he sounded confused and concerned.  “After what happened with Pepper… Anyway, how are you feeling?  Do you need me to get a doctor or get you to the hospital or something?”

“Relax, cap.  It’s nothing serious.  Just flu season, you know how it is.”  Tony said.  His head was now leaning on the man’s shoulder.

Steve probably noticed too, given the odd silence.  Or he had decided to leave and Tony was just too tired to hear him go.  Tony cracked an eye open, Steve was still there.  He was frowning deeply, his eyes wide as he looked the man over.  He didn’t seem angry, or upset, just thoughtful.

“Who’s your friend?”  Steve asked, his expression softening as he turned back to Tony.

“My name’s David.  Nice to meet you.”  The man said.  “Tony and I aren’t really friends, we just met last night and I wanted to make sure he got home okay.  He seems pretty sick.”

Steve nodded.  “That’s weird, he seemed fine last night.”  He said quickly.

“Well, you know how these things can be.  One moment you’re fine and the next you’re puking your guts out.”  David said.

“Well, it’s nice of you to bring him back.  I’ll take it from here.”  He said quickly.  He stepped forward and took Tony into his arms.  Steve was larger, warmer too, and Tony easily went into his hold.

This was somehow worse.  Some stranger taking care of Tony while he was sick was one thing, it would probably leak to the press and he would look weak, but Tony hated taking things from Steve.  They weren’t friends, more familiar than Tony was with that man, David, but still not at all friendly.  Tony wanted to push Steve away simply out of spite but he didn’t have the strength.

“Alright, no problem.”  David said.  He smiled at Tony and pulled a crumpled receipt from his pocket and grabbed a pen from a nearby table.  “Have my number.  Call me if you feel like going out again.  It’s been great.”

He put the paper in the pocket of Tony’s jacket and waved as he headed back for the elevator.  The door closed behind him and Steve started leading Tony to his bedroom.  His bed was a sight for sore eyes, Tony was ready to go back to sleep and not get up for hours.

Steve set him down gently and started to help Tony out of his shoes.  “He seems nice.”  He said slowly

Tony nodded as he laid back on the bed.  He was too tired to care about anything, not Steve, not about whether or not he slept in his crumpled suit, he just wanted to sleep.  “Yeah.  I think the sex was great too.”

He looked over to Steve and smiled as he saw the soft pink on his cheeks and the way he was biting his lip.  “Listen, Stark.  I know you and Pepper just broke up.  That’s tough.”  He said.  He started to help Tony out of his pants.

Tony groaned and pushed Steve’s hands away.  “Let’s not talk about it.  Not right now, I’m sick and dying so leave me alone.”  He said.  He rolled over so he was on his front and crawled up the bed until he could fall against his pillow.

Steve sighed.  “Fine, but try to take care of yourself.  You can’t just sleep around with everyone and pretend like it isn’t affecting anyone.”  He said.  Tony would have rolled his eyes if he wasn’t already putting all his focus into climbing under the covers.  “That guy seemed to care about you, he’ll probably be a bit upset when you don’t call.”

“I have one-night-stands all the time, people can’t seriously be expecting me to stick around now.”  Tony said.

“Yeah, well you stuck around for Pepper.”

That hurt.  Tony buried his face into his pillow and took a deep breath.  He was going to throw up, he just knew it.  Maybe not at that very moment, but soon.  “That was different.”  Tony whispered.  He wanted the conversation to end.  He wanted to go to sleep.  He wanted to pretend nothing bad was happening.

“I know.”  Steve said. “But if you keep going you’re going to get hurt and eventually someone will have their feelings hurt.  If that doesn’t bother you then at least think of the team.  We’re in enough trouble getting the government to trust us as it is, we don’t need you appearing as uncontrollable to the media.  We can’t keep this thing working if you make a fool of yourself in front of the whole world.”

“Shut up, okay.”  Tony said.  “I’ll stop, just a one time thing, I won’t fuck anyone else.  Go away.”

It probably wasn’t going to happen, but he was willing to say anything to get the conversation to stop.  Steve seemed satisfied, because after that he left.  Friday closed the blinds and once the room was dark and quiet Tony was finally able to fall back to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

“Tony, you have to be more responsible about these things.  What you do affects the team.”  Steve said.  Tony closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep.  He didn’t want to hear this, he still felt sick, and Steve’s endless speeches about how irresponsible he was were really starting to get on his nerves.  “It’s already in the papers, another one-night stand.  And you’re sick, you shouldn’t be sleeping with anybody.”

It was the same, different subject, but still the same speech on irresponsibility Cap seemed to give him every other weekend.  Only instead of too many risks in the field or inappropriate jokes over the comms, it was the bad light Tony’s drunken escapades were putting the team under.  The tv was on, talking about seeing him stumbling home with some man on his arm.  Tony didn’t plan for this to go on for long, he just needed to get it all out of his system, the raw emptiness that Pepper left behind when she told him she couldn’t do it anymore.  That loving Iron Man was too hard on her.  He hurt, Tony just needed time for it all to pass.

“I’m fine.  It’s probably just a cold combined with a really nasty hangover.  I’ll be up to my old tricks in no time.”  Tony said.  He was lounging around on his couch, a warm blanket wrapped around his shoulders.  He did feel better after resting, but however much he had to drink the night before was still weighing heavily on him.  “What I do is my own business.”

“Not when it affects the team.  What if we got called out on a mission?”  Steve said.  Tony gave a half-hearted shrug and buried his face into one of the pillows.  The couch was surprisingly comfortable, one of the expensive one that Pepper picked out for style rather than relaxation.  Still, in this moment with a headache feeling as if it was going to beat its way through Tony’s skull and the churning of his stomach threatening to bring up what little he has been able to eat today.  “Are you listening to me?”

“Yes, Cap.  I’m listening, I just don’t care.”  Tony said.  He tried not to smirk at Steve’s offended tsk.  “If we get the call to assemble, then we’ll assemble.  I’m sick, not dead.”

“No, in this state you’re a liability in the field.”  Steve said.  His tone was firm and if Tony had the energy he would lift his head and stick his tongue out.  But he didn’t, Tony had used what little he had to get from the bed to the couch to watch tv.

Another one of Pepper’s ideas.  She thought having a tv in the bedroom would be too distracting.  There had already been so little time that they got to share together, she didn’t want that ruined with a television.  Tony had agreed, had given her exactly what she wanted anytime she asked.  But it wasn’t enough.

“Are you punishing me because I’m sick?”  Tony asked.  Steve wasn’t, he was sure of that, but there was punishment somewhere.  Maybe he just wasn’t good enough, the team didn’t need him, Pepper didn’t need him, and now he was just a screw up who couldn’t keep their shit together.

“No, I’m not punishing you at all.”  He said.  “You didn’t- I’m not.  Okay, I’m not punishing you.  I just want you to take care of yourself.  You’re tearing yourself down and when you do that you’re gonna take us all with you.  Okay?”

That hurt to hear, but Tony didn’t argue.  It seemed he had made it a habit of ruining things for people.  “What do you want me to do?”  He asked.  “Magic away the sniffles?  Stop sleeping with people?  Those are impossible tasks, Cap.”

“I want to give you time off.”  Steve said.  Tony lifted his head at that, his eyes widening and his mouth falling open to protest.  Steve raised a hand to silence him.  “No, just listen.  You’re falling apart.  You’re not in a good place.  We’re gonna give you time.  Okay, you have to give yourself time.  No more sleeping around, no more non-stop parties and galas and working and drinking and sex.  Just a break.  You’re sick, you’re doing too much and you can’t bounce back from it.  Can you do that?”

“You can’t do that.”  Tony said.  Steve couldn’t.  He may be the captain of the team, but they had superiors and they were still a team.  He couldn’t just decide something and kick Tony off.

“We made a vote.  This will be good for you.”  Steve said.

His tone left no room for argument.  He was being punished, that much was obvious.  Tony didn’t care, he just didn’t anymore.  He laid his head back down against the pillows and rolled over so his back was to Steve.  If they wanted to kick him off of the team, then so be it.  He was too tired to care.

He let his eyes fall closed and after hearing Steve walk away and the elevator doors slide closed he relaxed.  This was fine.  He was okay.  Things would be alright.  Tony kept the short sentences tumbling around in his head, a mantra Rhodey had taught him right after Afghanistan when the man refused to let go of him and just kept whispering the words in his ear.  He was okay.

When he opened his eyes again, it was morning and he felt immensely better.  Still the lingering feelings of sickness, but not nearly as strong as they had once been.  Nearly twenty-four hours of sleep could work wonders.  His body felt looser, his mind clearer.  His first order of business was to make coffee.  Friday was pleasantly quiet, Tony needed to think.  Once the coffee was made and the caffeine invigorated him it was time to figure out what the hell he was supposed to do.

He was still cold, chills running up his spine and down his arms and no matter how high he set the thermostat it didn’t change.  He grabbed one of his jackets from the closet and pulled it on, the warm inner fleece helping slightly.  He could go back to Malibu, to California where it was always sunny and calm.  Pepper was busy with the company here in New York, it would be good to put some distance between them.  The team made it clear that they would do just fine without him.  Things would be alright.

Tony finished his cup of coffee and poured another one.  He wasn’t hungry, he should be considering how long it’s been since he had anything of sustenance, but his stomach didn’t feel quite ready for food.  Coming off of an illness was always harder than the illness itself, he had to be careful to pace himself and not fall head first into things that will bring all the horrible feelings back.  While he was sick just the thought of eating was enough to make him rush to the bathroom.

He leaned against the kitchen counter as he thought.  The team wanted him to relax, getting as far away from all of this would do just the thing.  He didn’t know how to fix the other things though, the drinking and the galas and the work.  Tony had to do those things, if he stopped then his life would suffer.  Stark Industries would take a hit if he didn’t build, and although he wasn’t sure about how he felt as Pepper remaining as CEO he still didn’t want the company to lose her brilliance.  If he didn’t attend galas and parties then the company would lose investors and charities would lose coverage.

He shifted, something in his pocket crumpling loudly and pulling him from his thoughts.  It was a wadded up receipt paper with a name and number delicately written on the back of it.  David Martin.  Tony remembered the dark, handsome features and the gentle touches from the other morning.  He didn’t remember the night, but the morning was good enough.  If Steve and the rest of the team wanted him to stop sleeping around so much then so be it.  No more one-night stands.

He put down his coffee mug and grabbed his phone, looking at the paper as he punched in the number.  It rang for a few seconds, Tony tapping his foot as he waited.  When he heard the click on the other end, signaling that someone had answered, he stood up straighter.  “Let’s go to Malibu.”  He said before the other person even had time to say ‘Hello’.

“I’m sorry, can you tell me who is calling?”  The man said.  The voice was the same, Tony had the right number.

“This is Tony, we had sex.”  He said.  “You carried me home.  I might have thrown up, I don’t exactly recall, but you left me your number.  I’m interested in seeing you again and since I don’t do things half assed I’m offering to fly you to Malibu.”

David didn’t answer right away.  Tony could still hear him breathing alongside soft and confused muttering that he couldn’t quite make out.  It was a little endearing, he almost felt bad for using the man to prove a point.  They waited like that for a few minutes, Tony allowing David to make the decision all on his own.

“Malibu?”  He finally said.  “I’ve never been.”

“We could get a nice hotel, dinner at all the finest restaurants, anything you want.”  Tony said.  They needed to be seen in public, just so everyone would know that Tony went home with a man and then was seen with him again.

“Anything I want?”  David asked.

Tony smiled at the wistfulness in his tone.  “Anything.”

“Alright.  Sounds interesting enough.”  David said.  There was a rustling sound on the other end of the line, Tony could hear him moving around, probably looking for things to pack.  “When are we leaving?”

“All I have to do is make a call and the private jet would be ready in a few hours.”  Tony said.  “I understand if this is a bit of a rush, but I really feel like going to California.”

There was a pause, a small moment of silence and Tony could see how this all sounded.  He was inviting a man he hardly knew on a trip to the other side of the country just a few days after their first meeting.  Still, it seemed like the right thing to do in this moment and it wouldn’t be the first time Tony had gone on a trip for a first date.  At least this time it was still in the US.

“I should be ready by then.”  David said.

Tony smiled, his shoulders dropping in relief.  “Perfect.  Call me when you’re ready and I’ll come get you.”

Tony hung up the phone and made the call.  Things would be ready in a few hours, he had made flights to the other side of the planet on shorter notice, this was fine.  Once the arrangements were made he tossed his phone onto the counter and made his way back to the couch, his legs were shaking slightly and the chills were coming back despite the jacket.  A quick nap would do him some good.  There was no need to pack, everything he needed was already in Malibu.  If there was anything he didn’t have then he could just buy it.

He let himself fall onto the cushions and wrap himself in the blankets.  He couldn’t stay here anymore, he probably wouldn’t even go back to the Malibu house either.  Everything was Pepper’s, her style, her tastes, her designing.  Even the very faint scent of her perfume still hung in the air.  He would just stay in a hotel with David, spend a nice long week or so with him.  Tony would show everyone that he was fine, he could go on dates and be responsible and people would stop thinking he was falling apart or running himself into the ground.  He was fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are liking the story so far. I am having a great time writing it. Classes started up again so between them and work I might not be able to update often, but I still will. I'm looking forward to this.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait!!

“You’re beautiful, you know that?”  David said softly.  He was smiling down at Tony, his legs straddling Tony’s hips as his hands ran up and down his arms.  “The most gorgeous man on the planet.”

“Well, that means Thor is still in the running because have you seen that guy?”  Tony said.  He winked as David chuckled softly.  “But do feel free to keep telling me I’m beautiful.  Flattery will get you everywhere.”

David’s smile was an amazing sight, wide and open as he leaned forward to run his mouth over Tony’s exposed neck and whisper sweet nothings.  It had been a pretty decent vacation so far.  Ever since they had landed the day before they had locked themselves away in a penthouse suite of some five star hotel near the shore and enjoyed each other’s company.  The sex was even better when he remembered it in the morning.

A hand trailed up his shirt, softly caressing the bare skin of his chest as it went higher.  Tony reached up and gently took the wrist into his hand.  He hadn’t taken off his shirt, not yet anyway.  David seemed to understand and quickly pulled his hand out to run his hands over his face and through his hair.  He held on tightly, his fingers gripping his hair to hold his head in place as he slid his mouth over Tony’s.

“Buy me dinner?”  David whispered against Tony’s lips.  “And I’ll tell you again how beautiful you are.”

“Sounds like a deal.”  Tony said, returning the kiss.

David climbed off of Tony and slowly walked over to the bathroom, smiling back at him as he turned on the lights and stepped inside.  The water turned on a moment later.  Tony stayed on the bed, his whole body aching slightly from their recent activities.

“My gorgeous sunshine, you’re welcome to join me in the shower.”  David called out.  Tony smiled to himself.  ‘Gorgeous sunshine’.  Tony liked the sound of that.  “It’ll be fun.”

Tony didn’t get up though.  They’ve been having sex nonstop since they landed in Malibu and the last thing on his mind at the moment was more sex, even if it was hot shower sex with an incredibly attractive man.  His body needed a few minutes to recover, the thought of moving anytime soon was making him feel sorer than he already was.  David could shower, call him gorgeous a few more times, and then they could go out for dinner.

He could hear David in the shower, softly humming as the water ran and steam seeped in through the open door.  Tony could see him in the mirror too, he was breathtaking through the glass of the shower doors.  All lean muscles, dark curls, and warm chestnut skin.  He could stare at him all day.  David turned slightly as he reached for the shampoo, catching Tony’s eye in the mirror and smiling.

Tony’s phone started ringing, the sound of it vibrating snapping his attention away from David’s naked body, and he leaned over to answer it.  He frowned at the picture on the screen, Natasha only ever called him when something was wrong or she wanted Tony to build something.  It probably wasn’t the latter, she had been with the others when the voted him on forcing him to take time off.  She wouldn’t want anything from him if it wasn’t serious.

“What’s wrong?”  Tony asked as he answered.  “The team alright?  Was there a mission?”

There was a short pause on the other end before Natasha answered.  “Where are you?”

She sounded completely calm and relaxed, so the team was probably okay.  Even Natasha sounded a bit stressed when one of their own was hurt or in danger.  Still, Tony didn’t relax.  Natasha wanted something from him and it was obviously important or otherwise she wouldn’t have called.

“I’m on the vacation you guys all demanded I take.”  He said quickly.  “Now what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just wondering where you were because apparently you weren’t in the tower.”  She said.  “And when we said take a vacation we meant recover from being sick and what happened with Pe-“

“Let’s not talk about it.”  Tony said, cutting in before they could get too far into that conversation.  He was sick of everyone wanting to talk about it.  “I’m fine.  I’m taking a break because you assholes decided I’m too incompetent to do my job.”

Natasha hummed thoughtfully.  “Well, you’re alive so that’s a good thing.”  She said.  “And after you crashed and burned because Pepper broke it off with you we were worried.  Some time to think will be good for you.  Yes, you need a break but that doesn’t mean run off without telling anyone.”

“Please.”  Tony said, rolling his eyes.  “As if you don’t know where I went.”

David had gotten out of the shower and walked back into the bedroom, still completely naked and beautiful as he gave Tony a crooked smile and began rummaging through his suitcase.  He was definitely a tease, there was no need for him to bend over that much just to look through his suitcase.  Tony watched him, taking in the sight of the muscles of David’s back moving as he picked up a shirt and pulled it over his head.

“Fair enough, but we honestly thought you had more sense than to take some random stranger on a sex retreat to Malibu.”  She said quickly.  “You don’t know him and when Steve said he talked to you about the reputation you’re building for yourself and this team I figured you would be smart enough to not fly literally complete strangers across the country to fuck them in fancy hotel rooms.  This kind of behavior reflects badly on all of us Tony.”

Natasha was still talking, but Tony was hardly listening.  It was probably just the same speech Steve had given him about how he wasn’t allowed to fall apart because Pepper decided that loving him was too hard on her.  It was stupid, Tony didn’t care.  Why should he care?  David was slipping his jeans back on, sliding them over his slender hips and all Tony could think about was how they moved, how they had been moving ever since they locked themselves away up here.

“Who cares?”  Tony said once Natasha paused.  “It’s my life.  I can do whatever I want.  Not hurting anyone.”

“Yes, it is your life, but we really need the public to be on our side right now.”  She said.  “You have to act like a responsible adult, especially after what happened with Ultron.  I want you to be happy and okay, bu-“

Tony hung up.  He couldn’t listen, not anymore.  He was just one train wreck after another and he didn’t want to focus on that, not when David was slowly running his mouth over Tony’s still naked thighs and humming softly.  He was on vacation.  They wanted him to take a break from the team and all of the team’s responsibilities, how dare they continue to tell him he isn’t good enough.

“Hello my gorgeous sunshine.”  David said softly.  “You’re beautiful and I’m thinking Mexican food.”

Tony nodded and started to get up from the bed.  The muscles on his back were sore and he couldn’t help but moan loudly as he stretched them out.  “I figured you were good at sex, but man you wore me out.”  He said.  He got up from the bed and began gathering up any clothes that would fit him to put on.  “Don’t tell anyone I said that.”

“I would never.”  David said.  He watched as Tony dressed himself, his eyes roaming over him.  Tony could feel his skin heat up under the gaze, but it would be a few hours before he was ready to go again.  “So, what was the phone call about?  You seemed upset.”

“Just… coworkers.  Always on my ass about one thing or another.”  Tony said.  Once he had his shirt on he leaned over to capture his mouth with his own.

David smiled against his lips.  “Yeah, well I’m the only one allowed on your ass now.”  He said, laughing softly.

Tony was surprised at how much he liked David’s presence.  He was a nice guy, very handsome, and didn’t ask too many questions about the obvious.  Tony was fully prepared for questions about the team, about what the Avengers were like, about being Iron Man.  But so far David had simply flew with Tony to another city and fucked him stupid for hours, kissing him gently and telling him he was beautiful every chance he got.

The driver met them outside after Tony sent a quick text to let them know they were going and all the way to the restaurant David kept kissing his neck, running his hands over Tony’s clothed chest.  He felt like a teenager again, making out in the back of the car on the way home from prom.  Not that Tony was allowed to go to prom, he had been around thirteen years old when his senior prom took place.

They got a private table, off in the back and far from the other patrons.  David’s hands kept running over his chest and reaching under the table to stroke his thighs.  It was nice, the constant gentle caresses.  It wasn’t sexually charged, Tony didn’t feel like David was about to fuck him at their table, he just felt like he was being worshiped and admired.  Like someone wanted to touch him simply because they wanted to touch him.

“I like your eyes.”  David whispered, leaning over and kissing his temple.  “You have such pretty eyes.”

“Who knew that all I needed to do to get showered with compliments was to treat someone to an all-expenses paid trip to California.”  Tony said softly, turning his head to kiss him again.  “Keep that up and you just might inflate my ego.”

David laughed, it was such an intoxicating sound that Tony had to lean forward to rest his head on David’s chest.  He could feel him shaking with laughter, the hands running through his curls, and Tony thought that this was the nicest he had felt in a long time.

Their food came and they pulled apart to eat.

“This is a good burrito, but I know a better place back in New York.  I’ll show you when we get back.”  David said.

Tony looked up at that.  “You want to head back so soon?”  He asked.  David frowned, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion.  “You know, I thought we would have a nice long weekend together.  Have a bit of fun and relax, but I guess if you want to stop.”

“What?  No, I meant we can check it out after our vacation.  Why would we stop?”  David said slowly.  “Do you not want to see me again after this?”

He had to admit that’s what he assumed.  He usually didn’t stick around after sleeping with someone and he only brought David out here for a long weekend, maybe five days or so, to get Steve off his back about sleeping around.  Tony thought they had an understanding, this was just a sex thing.

“I thought we had something going.”  David said.  Tony didn’t like the sad tone in his voice, how he slightly leaned away from him.  “I thought you liked me, like being with me.”

“I do!”  Tony said quickly.  He was surprised, he actually did enjoy David’s company.  “I just didn’t expect this to go on for a while, at the moment I don’t really ask people out for a second date.  Or a first date really.  I’m into sex right now.”

“So, why not keep this going?  You say you like me, and I’m really into you, so why can’t we keep this going.  Just dinner and sex and see how this goes.”  David said, a hopeful and slightly happy tone returning to his voice and Tony smiled at it.  “Just for a little while.  We can head back to New York whenever you want and just keep this going.”

It was an odd proposal.  Sounded an awful lot like agreeing to date him, but the idea of that didn’t turn him off immediately.  It wasn’t going to last, he knew that much, but he didn’t want to end it right away.  David was comfortable, he was warm and sweet and got his mind off of everything else.  After breaking down when Pepper left it was nice to have someone who just wanted to make him feel good about things.

“Alright.  We can keep thing going.”  Tony said.  “But I’m not promising to make this exclusive or that it will go far.”

At least he can say he was honest.  David’s smile widened, breaking across his face in a beautiful grin.  He leaned forward and took Tony’s face into his hands and pressed their lips together in a rough kiss.  It felt nice, Tony leaned into it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Natasha, I swear. Sorry if she comes off mean and rude without cause, she has her reasons for being so hard on him but it won't come up until later.  
> Thank you for reading!! Feel free to comment


	4. Chapter 4

“So this is your job?”  Tony asked, standing in the middle of the art gallery.  He didn’t like it, being here.  It felt as if something was clenching tightly around his throat and stomach and stopping him from breathing.

Art had always been Pepper’s, she had spent years building the collections for both Tony’s personal assets and the charity foundations that the company ran.  All he knew about art he had learned from her, if it didn’t involve Iron Man and hadn’t been sent in from a fan then Pepper was the one who enjoyed it.

“Kinda.”  David said, his arm wrapped around Tony’s waist.  “I’m an art dealer.  That’s actually why I was at the gala when we met, I helped organize the organizations collection to be auctioned off for charity.  I love art.  I like to come to galleries and see what’s there, sometimes you’ll find a masterpiece.  This piece is nice.”

He pointed at one hanging on the wall.  Tony didn’t quite know what it was supposed to be, it seemed to be a swirl of reds, oranges, and blacks.  It looked too dark for his tastes, the red was too much like blood and the other colors did nothing but make add to the feeling of unease about the painting.

“It’s a sunset.”  David said.  “It reminds me a bit of you.  All bright and gorgeous.”

“Yeah.  It’s beautiful.”  Tony said, walking forward until they came to the next painting.  This one was nice, the painting all cool blues and greens and it was almost enough to relax him.  “I like this one though.”

David looked at it, his expression disinterested, but nodded anyway before they moved on.  Tony didn’t want to be here, but as the days went by the focused less and less about non-stop sex and actually went out.  They got breakfast at Tony’s favorite diner and now Tony had to go with David to see the local art.  That was what they had to do, take turns picking out dates because it is amazing how fast a sex vacation gets boring without bringing out the more elaborate toys that Tony was too tired to go shopping for.

Besides, this was doing him a favor.  Tony may not enjoy going out to art galleries and discussing brush techniques or whatever is so important about paintings, but he did get his face in the paper with his arm around the same person time and time again.  The calls from the team were growing less frequent about how he was irresponsible for being portrayed by the media as someone who just goes through partners like cigarettes and now they call him to tell him he’s an idiot for running off without telling anyone.  As long as the public stopped thinking Tony was too immature for the Avengers then that was all that mattered.

“You know what we should do tonight?”  David asked as he pulled Tony closer.  “You should let me paint you, just coat your back in colors and then fuck you until we’re both a mess.”

The idea did sound interesting, but Tony couldn’t do that.  After these days of sex and fun, Tony hadn’t taken off his shirt since that first night.  “No, I don’t want that.”  Tony said, shaking his head.

David’s expression shifted, it had been open and happy from going to a place he liked to be, but now he seemed almost disappointed.  “Oh, why?”  He asked.  “It’ll make me happy.”

“I know, but I’m not comfortable with that just yet.”  Tony said.  “Maybe later, but right now I prefer to have my shirt on.”

Suddenly the art gallery didn’t seem to interest David anymore, instead he was just frowning at Tony and looking towards the exit.  “Do you just not want me to see you naked?  I thought we had a good thing going, I was… I have feelings for you.”  David said quickly.  “I thought you felt the same.”

“I do!”  Tony said as David pulled away.  He reached out for him, suddenly desperate for that point of connection.  David was good, he was nice and kind and seemed to actually enjoy spending time with him.  He couldn’t be another person Tony disappointed.  “There’s just scarring.  A lot of it on my chest.  It’s ugly.”

David’s expression softened as he reached out for Tony again, wrapping his arms around his hips and pulling him close.  “Baby, it’s alright.  I don’t mind.”  He said.  He leaned in and press a soft kiss to his lips.  “I’ll paint you and turn you into a beautiful masterpiece.”

And that was that, Tony guessed.  How could he argue when David was being so sweet about it?  So he wanted to paint over Tony’s naked body, it sounded fun and messy and amazing, David wouldn’t mind the scars.  Tony was still sick to his stomach every time he saw them, the jagged mess that now took the place that was once held by the reactor.  David said he wouldn’t mind them.

They headed back to the hotel after that.  Tony was through with the art and David too excited about painting Tony to care that his choice of date was cut short.  As soon as they were back in their hotel suite David started making his way towards the bedroom, his shirt pulled over his head.  He liked to do that, leave a trail of clothes as he walked, Tony smiled to himself.

“Aren’t you going to undress or would you like me to do it for you?”  David asked as he walked into the bedroom in nothing but his boxers and turned to look at Tony following behind him.  “Come on, baby.  This is going to be so much fun.”

“Alright, but you only get your way if you call me beautiful.  I don’t make the rules.”  Tony said as he started to unbutton his pants.

“My beautiful sunshine, let me have my way with you for the rest of the night.”  David said.  “So gorgeous.”  He was kissing slowly along Tony’s jawline as he eased his pants down and allowed him to step out of them.  Slowly has hands started to slide up his shirt, feeling the expanse of lean muscles all along his abdomen.

Tony wanted to reach out and stop them, but this was what David wanted.  He had come out here to spend the week with him and kiss him and call him beautiful.  Pepper had left him, the team was angry with him, the whole world was waiting for him to fuck up and fall apart, but David just wanted to sleep with him.  Tony could give him this.

Once the shirt was over his head he felt unease settle over him.  Tony found himself staring straight at David, trying to study his face as he looked over the mess of scar on Tony’s chest.  His face scrunched up slightly.

“I’m still gonna paint you.”  David said.  “Make you a beautiful work of art.  Lay down on the bed.”

“Okay, but please no orange paint.  Reds are great but orange makes my skin look waxy.”  Tony said.  He laid down and smiled.  “Everyone knows I’m the most attractive one of the bunch, can’t look like I’m escaping prison.”

David went over to his bag, digging through it as he looked for what he needed.  He grew frustrated, ripping clothes out as he searched.  “It should be here!  I could have sworn I packed my supplies.”  David said quickly.  “It’s not here!”

Tony watched him, the muscles of David’s back tensing as he dug through it.  “It’s alright, babe.”  Tony said softly.  David looked up at Tony, embarrassment shining through his eyes.  “Call me your ‘gorgeous sunshine’ again and we can still have mindblowing sex.”

David frowned down at his suitcase.  “It was going to be so romantic.”  He said, his voice soft.  Tony reached out to him, David had sounded so let down and Tony would be damned if he let a little thing like missing paint ruin the night.  “I was gonna paint you so beautifully and then you would fall madly in love with me and we would spend the rest of our lives together.”

That was a surprise, they had known each other for about three weeks, hiding away in Malibu and away from the team.  All of it had been mostly sex with several dates sprinkled in between.  Now David wanted to fall in love and get together.  Not just the sex get together that Tony had grown content with, but like an actual relationship.

“I’m not sure about that, baby.”  Tony said slowly.  It was too soon, after Pepper it was easy to think that nothing would ever be right again.  Pepper had been it for him, no one else wanted him and Iron Man and all the other problems that came along with that.  “I’m a mess.  No one can stand me for very long.”

David smiled softly, wrapping his arms around Tony’s shoulders and pulling him against his chest.  “I would have.  Can’t get rid of me that easily.”  He said softly, pressing his lips against Tony’s temple.  “Now, sex.”

Tony laid back against the bed, scooting up until he was nestled against the plush pillows, his legs open as David slid between his spread thighs and took Tony’s face in his hands.  “Come on, darling.  You know you love me.  I’m so good for you.”  David whispered as he kissed him slowly.  “I need you.  You’ve become my everything.”

“I guess we’ll just see what happens.”  Tony said, reaching up to run his hands over David’s back.

“My beautiful sunshine?”  David said as he pulled back.  Tony smiled.  “Can you roll over?”

At first Tony didn’t quite understand, until David’s eyes flickered back down to the ugly mass of scars along Tony’s chest.  He knew no one would want to have to look at those during sex, Tony would rather not see them at all.  He missed the reactor, a bright light in the center of everything, now replaced by this hideous skin.  Tony rolled over onto his stomach, David draping himself over his back.  He could do it, he could make this work.  The moment they start calling their relationship a relationship it would all go to hell and Tony would ruin it one way or another, but he wasn’t going to let David become dissatisfied just because he wasn’t good enough.  This thing they had going was too good to just throw away, Tony felt cherished every moment he spent in David’s presence and he wanted to hold onto that.  Besides, David promised to paint him eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The happy little vacation is about to come to an end.


	5. Chapter 5

“How do you feel, sunshine?”  David asked.

Ever since they had gotten back from California Tony had felt sick.  It was either nerves or the mystery flu from before had returned in full force to punish Tony for something or the other.  He mostly just slept, all day, and the few times he had woken up David was there to whisper sweet nothings in his ear, stroke his hair, and get him a glass of water.

It was nice to be cared for, to have his back and shoulders rubbed when he was certain he would throw up if he moved a muscle.  David was a miracle, a consistent warm mass for Tony to curl up against every time he drifted towards consciousness.

“I’m feeling better, babe.  Thank you.”  Tony said as he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.  The lights were still too bright and every sound felt too loud, but David had made him soup and he didn’t want to see the sad look that would be on his face if he turned it away.  “Has the team been by yet?”

It had been several days since they had returned to New York, David had come back with him to the tower and even though none of the team had been there to greet them or stop by to say hello, he was sure they would pop up eventually.  Maybe it was for the best if they stayed away for now, none of them needed to see Tony so sick and weak, especially when they’re probably already considering kicking him off the team.

“No.  They haven’t.”  David said as he held up a spoonful of soup.  “Perhaps they’re busy.  They’re all important people and not everything has to be about you.”

Tony jerked slightly at the comment.  “I never said they had to make everything about me.”  He said, leaning away as David tried to feed him.  “The hell is that supposed to mean.”

“I’m just saying that they’re heroes.  Just because you’re sick doesn’t mean you can ask about them every time you wake up.  They have more important things to do.”  David said. 

He leaned forward to try to get Tony to eat again.  Tony didn’t know whether or not to be angry and insulted, he was right.  Tony was making this about himself.  He was so damn desperate for their attention that he would demand they drop everything else, but he was just confused that they hadn’t shown up.  They had been so insistent that Tony be responsible and come home, stop sleeping around and lay low, relax, and now that he was doing all of those things they just ignore him.  It didn’t sound right.

David held the spoon out to him again, clearing his throat to get Tony’s attention.  Tony let his mouth fall open and ate the soup.  It was good, still warm and David smiled as he went to get more for him to eat.

“See, they’re off doing whatever and now you have me.”  David said.  “They’re gone while I’m here.  You don’t need them.  Now eat.”

Tony frowned, leaning away from the next bite.  He was tired, just wanted to go back to sleep.  David kept pushing the spoon forward, smiling softly as he tried to convince Tony to eat more and insisting that it would me him feel better.  Tony didn’t want it, his stomach was already turning and he didn’t think it could handle more food.

“Just go.”  Tony said, trying to push away David’s hand.  “I’m just going to go to bed.  I’ll eat later.”

“No, you should eat now.”  David said.  “You need to if you’re going to keep your energy up.  Please, I made this soup special just for you.”

Tony sighed and took another spoonful.  He didn’t like it, the soup was good but being spoon fed made him feel useless.  He was capable of holding a utensil by himself.  But David seemed so content in helping him in any way he could that he wasn’t going to say anything.  David wanted this so Tony could just buck up and let it happen.  He couldn’t be so selfish all the time, especially since David was the only one who seemed to want to be near him at the moment.

Once he had eaten at least half the soup, David let him turn away from it.  He couldn’t eat anymore.  He felt absolutely horrible, his stomach clenching down harshly as it rejected the soup.  He wasn’t well enough yet, not to eat so much it seemed.  He laid down and curled up on his side, his arms wrapped around his stomach as he tried to will it to settle down.  David sat with him, running his fingers through Tony’s hair and rubbing his back.  That was nice, the small bits of comfort as Tony closed his eyes and grimaced.

David’s hand settled on his stomach, rubbing small circles as he hummed a gentle song.  Tony didn’t know why he was so sick, he had been feeling fine when they were packing up to leave Malibu, but their first morning here in New York Tony had felt like he was dying.  Oddly enough, David had jumped forward with the chance to take care of him.  Tony was grateful, while Pepper had usually been the one to help him through his bad days, she hadn’t been as cuddly as David was.  Pepper would make sure he had food and water, was clean and warm, but then left him alone most of the day to rest.  David did all of that and then cuddled with him for hours.  It was nice to just be held.

“Fuck.”  Tony said as he jumped up from the bed and quickly made his way to the bathroom.  He couldn’t keep the soup down.  He barely made it to the toilet in time before everything he had managed to eat was coming back up.  He felt awful, Tony was sure his muscles were going to give out and he would die in a puddle of his own sick on the bathroom floor.  He didn’t think he could move, and he couldn’t eat a thing like this.

“It’s alright, sunshine.  I’ll take care of you.”  David said, appearing in the doorway. “I’m sure in a few days this will all clear up and you’ll feel good as new.  Until then just let me take care of you.”

Once Tony was done David gave him a glass of water and started to wipe down his sweaty face and arms with a warm, damp cloth.  He wanted to wash Tony’s back and chest too, but Tony shook his head every time David asked to take off his shirt.  He hummed as he meticulously cared for Tony, his hands carefully roaming over his body.  Tony closed his eyes and let his head rest against the nice cool porcelain of the toilet bowl.  He felt like he was dying.

“We should get you more soup.” David said softly.

“No.”  Tony groaned.  “Please no I can’t eat anything.”  Tony wanted to go back to bed.  He could just sleep this off and then eventually he won’t feel like he’s dying.

“Be quiet, sunshine.  I’m here to take care of you.”  David said.  He hooked his hands under Tony’s armpits and pulled him into his arms.  “Don’t be difficult.  I have to take care of you, there’s no one else willing to do this.”

Tony turned and buried his face in David’s neck.  He was warm, smelled vaguely like something sweet.  Tony could get lost in the feeling of being held by him.  He was right, David was the only one willing to put up with him it seemed.  The team did know they were back in New York, didn’t they?  All they had to do was ask Friday and she would tell them.  The whole team always checked in on one another when they were sick or injured, Tony just never thought they would get so sick of him they would ignore him.

“Why aren’t they here?”  Tony whispered.  His head was pounding again, his stomach cramping so hard he felt like it was ripping to pieces.

“You don’t need them, sunshine.  You have me.”  David said.  Tony didn’t understand.  They always checked in on one another.

He couldn’t quite remember how long they’ve been back, he knew that they had spent the last few days in Malibu in bed.  David had been gentle with him, kissing along every inch of their skin as they made love.  He promised to prove to Tony how perfect they were together, how no matter what everyone else said or did he would be with him.  It had been romantic at the time.  Tony loved it.

Tony wanted to have sex on the jet ride home, worried about what the team would say when he came back.  They would probably still be annoyed, he still got calls every once in a while from them saying he couldn’t just run off and he needed to come home, but it was good he was only fucking one guy instead of dozens.  He was doing exactly what they asked, relaxing and taking a break while still trying not to make a fool of himself in front of the public.  Everyone wins.  But apparently that wasn’t good enough for them.  They wanted Tony to have a vacation from the Avengers and stop sleeping with people altogether, in the tower where they could keep an eye on him.  Tony was sure that had to be the only reason they were so annoyed he left with David.  Either that or they really couldn’t stand him.

Not that it mattered.  Their first night back David cooked him dinner, told him all about the projects and assignments waiting for him at work for when they officially ended their vacation and listened as Tony talked as well.  It had been a great night, but halfway through the night Tony felt sick.

He wasn’t sure how long it had been now, days or weeks, but half the time he was asleep and the other half David was caring for him or he was throwing up what little he could eat.  It all blended together until it felt like an eternity.  Tony just wanted to sleep until it was over, he couldn’t eat anymore.

“Come on, Tony.  I have a whole pot of soup that I made really special just for you.  In a few days you’ll be better and you’ll appreciate how well I’ve cared for you.”  David said.  He sounded annoyed, his grip on Tony a bit too tight, but once they got back to the bedroom he laid him down on the bed gently and kissed his forehead.  “Just a few more days, I promise.  Stop being so difficult and let me do this for you.  No one else would put up with this, take care of you like I had.  Just accept that and stop trying to fight me on this.”

Tony was sure he was just about to cry, no one else cared enough to check on him and David was all he had anymore.  Pepper probably wouldn’t come to see him even if he was so sick he was actually dying.  It had to be the pain and the fever messing with his head.  He was fine, he just needed to eat.  David promised, he’ll feel better soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Tony and the mystery sickness. I don't mean to be forward, but in the short time that Tony has known David this is the second time he's had a mystery illness. So strange. How odd. What do you guys think?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not replying to comments. I appreciate every single one of them, but I just haven't found the time to reply. All of you have a lot of great things to say and I look forward to more.
> 
> Also, this chapter has a lot of disturbing behaviors. Please read the tags.

David was right, in just a few days Tony did start to feel better.  He didn’t feel like he was going to throw up every few minutes any more, his head stopped hurting, light was no longer too intense.  He was tired though, so damn tired he wasn’t sure if he was even able to get up out of bed and if he was he wouldn’t get very far.

Either way, it didn’t matter.  Tony was still on forced vacation from the Avengers and Pepper hadn’t bothered to call him with anything about the company.  He was rejected and useless, no longer needed by anyone to do anything.  At least he had David though, who miraculously stayed with him throughout this whole thing.  He didn’t complain about Tony’s drinking, or constantly mention the break up, or tell Tony to do this or that, to stop being emotional and just grow up and be responsible.  David just took care of him.  Tony felt lucky to have him.

“Come on, my gorgeous sunshine.  You have to get out of bed sometime.”  David said softly, one hand running up Tony’s bare back.  “The world is waiting to see your beautiful face.”

“The world can go to hell.”  Tony muttered.  He just kept lying in bed, the covers were warm and the pillow was soft.  He didn’t see a damn reason to get up, let alone open his eyes.  “Just let me sleep for a little while.”

“You can’t sleep all day, love.  You have responsibilities.”  David said.  His hand kept running up and down Tony’s back, his fingers rubbing small circles into the skin and causing Tony to relax further, nearly dropping off to sleep.

“No, I don’t.” Tony said softly.  “No work.  I’m too irresponsible for work.”

David hummed, his mouth now running over Tony’s neck.  “What about me?”  He asked.  Tony waited for an explanation.  Did he have something he needed to do?  Had he promised David something that he now couldn’t remember?  His mind was going a lot slower than it usually did, his body probably still jumping back from these past few days where he had given all his energy to fighting off whatever illness he had.  “Come on, Tony.  After I keep you company in Malibu and then take care of you while you were sick you owe me.”

David’s hand went back down Tony’s back and settled on his hips, his lips kissing along Tony’s neck softly.  “Not now, baby.”  Tony said as he tried to roll away and bury his face in his pillow.

“What?  Why?”  David asked, his hands going back to Tony’s hips and pulling him back against him.  Tony sat up slightly, reaching out and putting his hand on David’s chest to push him away, only to have his hand caught and held tightly.  “Come on, sunshine.  We just spent a whole vacation in a hotel room having the time of our lives so I know you have no problem with sex.”

“But not right now.  I’m tired.  I just want to sleep for a little while.”  Tony said.  “I just… I’m not up for anything at the moment.”

There was a pause, neither of them said anything and Tony assumed that the discussion was over, he would be allowed to go to sleep and rest for a little while.  Maybe if he was feeling better when he woke up again, more energized and less like he was going to just fall asleep at a moment’s notice.  He would give David anything he wanted in the morning, right now he was just too damn tired to do a thing.

“Fine.”  David said quickly, his hands leaving Tony’s body as he sat up and scooted away.  “I just thought you cared about me as much as I cared about you.  But don’t worry about it.”

Tony tried to reach out to stop him.  He didn’t want this to be an issue, he was just so tired, so exhausted the thought of sex was off-putting.  But now he didn’t want to be alone, he didn’t want David to leave him, even if Tony was being annoying and selfish and insufferable after everything David had done for him.  It wasn’t fair.  He wanted to grab onto David’s arm and stop him from leaving, he would cuddle or take anything he wanted to give him, Tony just didn’t want to be alone anymore.

He was too late though and David left.  Tony was left sitting on the bed, his eyes barely staying open as he watched the door swing closed.  There was no way Tony would be able to sleep now, alone and rejected once again.  He just kept ruining things it seemed.

“Friday?  Is the team in the tower?”  Tony asked softly.

“Yes, boss.  Captain Rogers and Miss. Romanoff are in the common kitchen.”  Friday’s voice said clearly through the speakers.  Tony hadn’t realized how quiet she had been lately, but now that he was listening to her he couldn’t help but feel that silence.  Perhaps she was disappointed as well.  “I do not think they want to be disturbed.”

“Too bad.”  Tony said.  Getting out of bed was harder than it should have been, but he managed it and made his way to the elevator.  David was nowhere to be seen, but he could hear the tv on a few doors away.  At least he didn’t leave completely, he was still here with Tony.

He got into the elevator and hit the button to head down, the whole way wondering if he should just give up and head back.  They didn’t want Tony to bother them, but they hadn’t once come to see him in the time he had been back and too sick to come down himself.  He wanted to know what was going on.  Natasha was sitting at the kitchen island when he made it down there, Steve leaning on the counter across from him.  Neither of them looked up at him when he came in, too busy whispering quietly to themselves.

“Hey!  How’s it going?”  Tony said loudly, bringing their attention to him.  “Did you miss me?  I must say, I’ve had a fantastic trip and now it’s good to be home.”

“What are you doing up?”  Natasha asked.  “Friday said that you were still feeling sick and wouldn’t be up for a few days at best.  But of course you wouldn’t do the logical thing that’s good for your health.  I’m actually surprised it took you this long to show your face.”

Tony smiled.  “Well, a little stomach bug could never keep me down for long.  I’m fine.”  He said.

“If you’re sick you should stay in bed.  If you overwork yourself you’re just going to be sick longer.  What if there’s an emergency?”  Steve said.  He closed his eyes and shook his head.  “Look, I just want you to feel better.  I don’t like seeing you sick.  Please go lay down.”

Tony frowned, moving forward and taking a seat at the island.  They really were annoyed with him.  Clearly they had wanted him to take it easy and he had failed to do that every step of this little forced vacation from work.  “Nah, too much to do.  Besides, I just got back from Malibu and I want to get caught up on my work.”

“You’re not working right now, Tony.  Just relax for now.”  Steve said.  “You look like you’re about to pass out.  When was the last time you slept?”

“Last night.”

“Right.”  Natasha said slowly.  “Closing your eyes once during an all-nighter doesn’t count you know.”

Her tone was teasing, but Tony frowned anyway.  Was she actually joking or was she once again calling him irresponsible?  Clearly she still thought so if they weren’t letting him get back to work yet.

“Have you guys met the new guy I’m seeing?”  Tony asked.  He wanted to change the subject, the less time they spent dwelling on how much of a screw up he was, the better.  “I think you guys would like him.”

“David, yeah.”  Natasha said.  “I met him.  He said you were asleep, and clearly you still need to rest, but he seemed like a nice enough guy.  A bit weird, but aren’t we all.  Have you talked to him yet, Steve?  He’s been on Tony’s floor since they got back so it’s not hard to find him.”

Steve frowned and crossed his arms.  “Yeah, I met him.”  He said.  “Met him the first time Tony brought him home.  He seems alright.  As long as Tony’s happy I guess that’s what matters.”

“Yeah, but I think he’s mad at me.”  Tony said.  He rubbed at his eyes, trying to wake up more.  Each time he closed them it was harder to open them again and his body was leaning forward in his seat.  The idea of resting his head on the cool marble of the countertop and falling asleep seemed fantastic.

“What did you do?”  Natasha asked.

“What makes you think I did something?”  Tony said quickly.  Of course, they would think that.  He was the screw up it seemed.  Natasha just raised an eyebrow and waited.  “Fine, okay.  I didn’t even really do anything.  I was just being a bit selfish and inconsiderate, especially since he stuck around while I was sick.  I didn’t see you guys though.”

Steve reached out and put a hand on his shoulder.  “Sorry, we had some work to do and every time we had a chance to come up you were passed out.  Speaking of which, you need to go to bed now.” He put his hands on Tony’s arms and carefully helped him up.  Tony leaned on him more than he would like to admit, but he was grateful for the help.  Getting down here was a miracle, getting back up to his penthouse was near impossible if he had to go alone.

He helped Tony into the elevator and pressed the button for his floor.  “Thanks, Cap.” Tony said.  Steve couldn’t be too upset with him constantly ruining things if he was willing to help him.

“Tony, there you are.”  David said, walking down the hallway towards them once the elevator opened onto Tony’s floor.  “I was looking for you.  You should be in bed, you know.”

Steve laughed softly, it sounded more like a breathy and forced chuckle than anything else.  “Yeah, that’s just what I told him.  He’s supposed to be taking it easy.”  Steve said.  He let go when David reached out to take Tony’s weight.  “Make sure he rests.”

“Of course, Captain.”  David said.  Steve gave a curt nod and turned to leave.  Once the elevator doors had closed around him David’s grip tightened.  “Did you go downstairs?”

Tony nodded and then leaned his head back on David’s shoulder.  He was tired, ready to go to sleep.  “Yeah.  I just wanted to see if they were mad at me.”  Tony said.  He wrapped his arms around David’s shoulders and buried his face in his neck.  “They still seem to think I can’t handle myself.  Do you think they’re still upset with me?  I have been a mess lately.”

“Maybe it’s just that you’re a bit inconsiderate.”  David said.  He kept a tight hold on Tony’s arms as he led him into the bedroom and sat him down.  “You’re definitely not easy to get along with.  Lord knows you try my patience, but I care about you so it doesn’t matter.  Everyone else though, you should just leave them alone for a while.”

His voice was hard and flat.  Tony frowned, his hands going up to wrap around David’s wrist suddenly afraid he would leave again.  “Are you still mad at me?”  Tony asked slowly.

David pulled his hand out of Tony’s grasp.  “Well, you did turn me away because you were supposedly tired, but then snuck away to go hand out with your friends.  I thought you would have made me a priority by now, since that’s what I’ve done for you.”  David said.  His hands went back to Tony’s shoulders and pushed him back down onto the bed.  “But don’t worry about it.”

Tony wanted to argue, but David turned and headed for the bathroom.  He was left sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting and worrying that he wouldn’t come back.  When David finally came back into the room he held out a glass of water, it seemed that even when he was being selfish and difficult David still cared.

“Thank you.”  Tony said.  He took the glass and drank as much as he could, his eyes still heavy.  “Stay.”

“Alright.”  David said and pushed Tony back onto the bed.  He stayed awake just long enough to feel David’s warmth wrap around him and hold him close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony seems to be getting worse and worse with his fears that everyone can't stand him. Poor guy. What do you guys think?


	7. Chapter 7

“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”  David said casually, not looking up from the tv.

Tony frowned, surprised by the answer he was giving.  “It’s just dinner.  Don’t you want to see the team?  Sam’s back in town, Barnes is apparently doing good, and Steve wanted us all to get together and have dinner.”  He said.  “Nat said that it would be good for them to formally meet you.”

“I would love to meet your friends, sunshine, but I don’t want to have dinner with them.  It would be too awkward.  They all know each other and I’m the outsider you brought home.”  David said.  He smiled up at Tony and held a hand out to him.  Tony took it and allowed himself to be pulled into the seat next to him.  “Why would they even invite us anyway?”

“Because it’s a team dinner and they wanted to meet you.”  Tony said.  He leaned against David, resting his head on his shoulder and closing his eyes as hands ran through his hair.

“Yeah, but you’re not really part of the team.”  David said softly.  Tony pulled his head back, jerking away from David’s gentle hands.  “Don’t be like that.  They just seem to be doing their own thing and you only interact with the team when they need you.  Which doesn’t seem very often, you know.”

Tony leaned away, his lips curling in a grimace.  “Excuse me?  We are a team, I’m an Avenger.  I’m invited to team dinners because I’m part of the team.”  Tony said quickly.  He was upset, he was a part of this team.  They may not like him very much at the moment, but he was still part of this.  “And you’re invited because you’re my boyfriend.  Aren’t you supposed to be supportive of my job?”

“No, I’m supposed to be honest with you.” David said.  His hand shot out and wrapped around Tony’s arm to stop him from pulling away completely.  “And they don’t seem to care that much.  I’m just trying to be gentle with you, sunshine.  I don’t want you getting too attached to people who don’t care.  You’re already obsessed with them enough.”

“I am not obsessed with them.”

“Yes, you are.  You never stop talking about your precious team, your beloved captain, your stupid super spy friends, your missing science partner.  It’s all you ever talk about.”  David said quickly.  He pulled Tony’s arm to try to bring him closer.  Tony could pull away, he knew he was strong enough to, but he was still so damn tired that he couldn’t do much more than a light tug.  “Jesus, I wanted to make love to you but you said you were too tired and then immediately went to go hang out with your precious friends.  Friends who didn’t do a damn thing for you when you were sick.  You know who did take care of you while you were sick?  I did, every day.  And they forced you out of the team, I thought you cared about me too, but obviously you don’t want to put forth the effort of making me a priority.”

Tony didn’t quite understand what was happening, they hadn’t really fought before.  He had expected it to happen one of these days, but over something serious, most likely something that he did.  This was his fault, David was putting forth decent arguments, Tony had been selfish.  But David had never seemed this angry before, his hand still gripping Tony’s arm and giving him no opportunity to get away.

“You are a priority.”  Tony said.  He stood up and tried to pull his arm back but again he had no luck.  “You’re my boyfriend, I would do anything for you.”

“Then let’s just stay in tonight!”  David said loudly.  “I can’t stand you socializing with those people who don’t give two shits about you.”

“Fine, we’ll stay in.  Now please can we just relax?”  Tony said.  He yanked on his arm one more time and was relieved when it slipped from his grasp.  It hurt, the skin where David had gripped tightly was turning a bright red.  He sat back down on the couch, enough distance between him and David to show that he was angry.

David reached over to him to grab Tony’s hand but he jerked it away before they could even touch.  “My gorgeous sunshine, don’t be mad.”  He said.  “I just want to take care of you, you know that.  They don’t like you, I can see it, and I don’t want you getting attached to them.  It’s alright though, because you have me and I love you so much.”

Tony closed his eyes as David grabbed onto his hand, his grip much gentler and his thumb running carefully over his knuckles.  “You love me?”  Tony said slowly.  It was unlikely, Pepper had said that she loved him too, but she left.  People didn’t end up loving Tony.

“Of course I love you, my sunshine.  That’s why I just want you to be with people who really care.”  David said, pulling Tony’s hand up to his lips.  “You are my sunshine, I want to be so good for you.  Sorry for fighting, you just make me so frustrated.  But it’s only because I love you so much.”

“It’s fine.”  Tony said.  He was tired.  Too tired to fight anymore, too tired to be upset about missing dinner, too tired to care about any of it anymore.  If the team really didn’t give a shit about him than they would all be better off not having him around.  He could just stay in here and try not to be so ungrateful and insufferable.  “Let’s just go to bed.”

A wide grin spread across David’s face and he nodded.  “Yeah, darling.  Let’s go to bed.”  He said.  He stood up and pulled Tony by the hand until he was in his arms and pressed against him.  He kissed Tony softly, cupping his face and holding him in place as his lips brushed over his.  “Remember Malibu, we would have each other in every way, every day.  We haven’t made love in so long, you’ve been too sick.  That’s alright, I don’t mind taking care of you.  But we have time tonight.  I’m going to have so much fun with you tonight.”

Tony wasn’t really in the mood.  He was exhausted, he was sure the moment his head laid back against the bed he would fall asleep again.  It wasn’t fair to David if every time they almost had sex Tony just fell right to sleep.  He would have to find a way to stay awake.

David paused.  They were both standing in the bedroom, pressed against one another and kissing slowly.  Tony was ready to just have sex and they could leave their argument behind them but David pulled back and glanced up at the ceiling, a frown pulling at his lips and his eyebrows tipping down.

“Does your robot watch all the time?”  He asked softly.

“Kinda.”  Tony said, his mouth moving on from David’s face to his neck.  He was just ready to make him feel good.  “Friday is usually in standby mode on residential floors unless directly called.  She can access past video footage if there is a need, but mostly her focuses are in the labs.  I have a lot of projects going on downstairs.”

“I don’t want her watching us.  It is awkward. What this is, what we have, is intimate.  Only for us.”  He said slowly, smiling at Tony.  “Make her go away.”

“Oh.”  Tony said.  “She’s not actually watching us, only if she’s addressed or in case of emergencies, if something on her cameras causes alarm then she’ll get involved, but she’s not really here.”

“Still, just turn her off.”  David said.  “For me, if you really love me too.”

“Fine.”  Tony said.  He had never shut any of his AIs out of the penthouse before.  It was a simple enough procedure, he just had to give the command to shut down the basic monitoring systems.  Friday would hear herself being called and do the necessary computer activations without Tony even having to move a muscle.

Once the command was given David relaxed and went back to Tony softly, leading him backwards towards the bed.  “So good, my sunshine.”  He said slowly.  “So good to me.  So beautiful.”

Tony got on the bed and scooted back against the pillows, his legs opening to make room for David to slide between them.  He was so tired.  Maybe once they were done and it wouldn’t be so strange for him to fall asleep they could nap together. They could cuddle and just sleep for the rest of the day.

“Roll over.”  David said, twirling his hand to signal it.  “I want you on your stomach.”

Tony did what he was told, getting into position and turning his head to the side as he felt the bed dip under David’s weight.  Maybe since they were not going to join the others for dinner David would make something, would go slow and gentle and tell him how important and beautiful he was.  Tony would be alright here, he wouldn’t need the rest of the team.  They didn’t seem to want him anyway.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry.

Tony didn’t want to move out of bed, his whole body hurt too much to even hope about doing anything physical.  Even the thought of something as simple as standing made his whole back throb.  The night before had been rougher than what he was used too, he hadn’t been as thoroughly prepared, and David would not let him move to change position.

There was something clearly wrong.  Tony’s limbs felt too tired to move his body ached and his head was clouded and fuzzy.  The bed was warm, the blankets were wrapped around his hips, and he was probably just going to go back to sleep.  Things were fine, he was still just a little sick.  Everything was going to be okay.

“Be home in a bit.”  David said, stopping at the door.  “I’ll call later.  Just relax for today, alright?”

“Okay.”  Tony said softly.

He heard the footsteps as David stepped away and left the door open.  Down the hall he could hear the elevator doors slide open and then closed again.  Once he was alone all tension seemed to drain from his body, he sunk further into the bed and his eyes nearly drooped completely closed.  David had work, of course he did.  He had art to buy and sell and important people to impress, Tony had nothing; no assignments, no obligations.  He could go down to the lab, work on his personal projects.  Perhaps if he builds something useful enough for the team they could let him come back.

Tony carefully sat up, pain shot across his lower back and through his legs as he did.  It almost wasn’t worth it, Tony could just lay back down and sleep until David got back.  He waited for the soreness to pass, for his body to get used to moving again after such rough sex the night before and just waking up.  He stretched as far as he could and stood up.  Getting dressed took effort, but he slipped on an old sweater and a pair of sweat pants.  There was a mark on his arm from the night before, not too large or too dark.  It was just a few small bruises from David’s fingers.

It was nothing, he had just squeezed too hard in the middle of an argument.  Tony could easily overpower him if it had been a problem.  Things were fine though, so there was no need to worry anyone by leaving it out for people to see.  Besides, it wasn’t like David did it on purpose.  If things get out of hand Tony could handle it.

Tony was deep in his thoughts as he stumbled out of the room and nearly walked straight into the elevator doors.  He stepped back and looked into the smooth, chrome reflection staring him in the face.  Tony looked like shit.  He had lost weight, not much but enough to be noticeable after the week or so he was so sick he could hardly eat.  He might have lost a lot more if not for David demanding he have at least some soup.

He went in and pressed the button for the workshop.  It had been too long since he had been down there, the vacation to Malibu hadn’t left him with any opportunity to see come here and his recent illnesses had kept him bedridden, but now there was nothing stopping him.  This was long overdue.

It was exactly how he had left it.  Half-finished projects laid out over different tables and different computer programs open on numerous screens to display separate bits of information.  The bots wheeled out excitedly to greet him as he came in.  Dum-E taking the lead and knocking over a pile of scraps to get to him.  Once they reached Tony they grabbed onto his shirt and dragged him deeper into the lab.

“Ow, hey.  Slowly guys, sore and tired and not really up for rough housing at the moment.”  Tony said, pulling out of their grasp and trying not to move too much too quickly.  His whole body ached with each step, Tony didn’t want to move any more than necessary.  “Surprised to see everything still in one peace.  I would have expected the place to be up in flames by now knowing you guys.”

The bots beeped happily, uncaring of anything Tony said just as long as he was here.  At least someone was glad to have him home.  They led him to the nearest worktable where a gutted armor was lying.  It was still being built, all of the major functions of it still theoretical and haven’t yet been added, but the base was there.  Tony didn’t feel like sitting down in the hard stool to work on it though; it would have to wait.

“Tony, there you are.”  Steve said, walking through the doors with Bucky following not far behind.  “You missed dinner last night.”

“Busy.”  Tony said as he looked down at the unfinished armor.  “Bet you guys had fun without me though.”

Steve shrugged.  “Would have been better though.”  He said.  “What are you working on?”

He walked around Tony and sat down in the nearest stool, getting comfortable in a show of interest.  He didn’t know why he was even here, dragging Bucky into his lab and forcing him to put up with Tony.  It definitely wasn’t fair.  Steve reached out and put a hand on Tony’s shoulder, squeezing it gently.

“I’m not really working on much of anything.”  Tony said slowly.  He pulled out of his hold and walked around the table.  “I’m on vacation, you know.  This is just a new armor in case you guys ever decide I’m suitable to be on the team again.”

“You’re not off the team, Tony.  We just worry about you.”  Steve said.  He looked across the table towards Tony, the corners of his lips turning down in a small frown.  “Ever since Pepper left you’ve been falling apart.  Running off and drinking too much, you look like you haven’t had a peaceful night sleep in weeks.  I don’t like seeing you like this, Tony.”

“Like what, Steve?  I’m fine.”  Tony said quickly.  Bucky hadn’t said a word, just kept fidgeting from foot to foot as they talked.  “Shouldn’t you be taking Buckaroo out for ice cream or something?  There’s nothing down here for you two.”

“You’re down here.”  Steve said.  He turned his frown into a small smile and leaned forward to rest his arms on the table.  “Why don’t you come with us?  We haven’t had a chance to see you in a while, it’s been too long since we just spent time together.”

Tony sneered.  “Yeah, that kind of happens when you bench me.  You guys were so insistent that I take a break because apparently I’m too irresponsible to do my job, but the moment I actually do leave on my vacation I keep getting calls that it was stupid of me to run off.”  He said firmly, his voice shaking with pent up frustration.  They shouldn’t be here.  “What do you want from me?”

Steve paused, his eyes widening as he looked to Bucky as if he held the answers.  Bucky turned away.  When Steve turned back to Tony he still looked confused.  “I don’t want anything, not really.  I just want you to be okay.”  He said.  “And I don’t think you are right now.”

“I’m fine.”

“What does this do?”  Bucky said, cutting in and essentially halting their argument.  He pointed down at one of the pieces of the suit.  “Does it blow up?”

Tony glanced down at what he was looking at.  “Yes, technically.”  He said.

It was as if the tension had been cut.  Tony didn’t want to think too much on why they were here and what they actually felt about him, but as long as they pretended to be at least slightly interested in what he was doing then he could live with it.  Maybe he could convince them that he was worth keeping around, that he was responsible and vital to the team.

He talked Bucky through the different parts of the suit, pointing out the new features it would have and what older ones would be passed on and kept.  Bucky listened, Steve seemed to as well.  It was nice, Tony could ignore the way his body screamed in pain the longer he stood and the way his head pounded as the lights from the workshop seemed to grow brighter.  He was fine.

“Are you okay?”  Steve asked, looking up at him.

“Yes.”  Tony said quickly.  “Just tired.”

Steve frowned, his eyes narrowing in suspicion and he slowly reached out to Tony’s arm.  There was still the bruise, the imprint of David’s hand and the moment Steve touched it the pain seemed to come back and Tony jerked away.  Steve shot up out of his seat and Bucky tensed as he stared at him.

“I said I was just tired.”  He said.  “I’ve had a long few months.  Doesn’t matter though, I’m fine.”

“You’re exhausted.”  Bucky said slowly.  “Do you need to go back to sleep?”

“I’m fine.”  Tony said again.  He felt like he was just repeating himself over and over again but no one was listening to him.  He was alright.  “In fact, I’m more than fine.  I have a new boyfriend who loves me a lot, I’m sleeping and eating and I’m not working too hard, just like you all wanted when you voted me off the team.”

“You’re not off the team.”  Steve said, waving his hand in front of him as if to expel the sentence.  “We just wanted to make sure you had a break, you weren’t doing too good after Pepper left.”

Tony cringed.  “Can we stop talking about that?  Pepper’s gone, she left, she couldn’t put up with me anymore.  It’s okay, I have David.  Let’s stop.”  Tony said.  He rubbed a hand over his face in hopes of stopping the tired feeling washing over him and covering his head like a sheet of warm cotton.  He hated it, how exhausted he was these days.  He had to be useful, had to be okay.  “I’m doing great.  I’m happy.  I can get back to work.”

He could see the hesitation in Steve’s face, the doubt.  They weren’t going to let him back on the team, they didn’t trust him enough to let him be an Avenger.  “Tony…”  Steve said slowly, reaching out for him again.  “You need a break, I don’t know what’s going on but you’re not okay.”

“Get out.”  Tony said, almost ripping his whole body away from Steve’s gentle hands.  He pulled back, not going to chase after him.  “I don’t need you here, get out.”

There was a few seconds of no one doing anything, Steve was just at Tony with wide eyes and a hurt expression.  How dare he look like that when Tony was the one they repeatedly told wasn’t good enough.  He did everything they wanted and he was still the irresponsible mess up that they wanted off the team.  Nothing was good enough, he wasn’t good enough.

Bucky was the first one to move, he walked up and grabbed onto Steve’s arm.  “Come on, give him space.”  He said softly.  “Besides, Sam wanted to check out the museums.  Let’s go see Sam.”

Tony felt like his body was going to collapse once he was alone again.  He was just so tired.  Why was he always exhausted?  Perhaps age was finally catching up with him.  Just another thing that made him useless to the team.  He waited until he was sure Bucky and Steve had gone and then went back for the elevator, ignoring that way the bots beeped sadly after him.  They didn’t need him either, he would just ruin things.

How did things end up going so wrong?  Tony had hoped he was proving he was good enough, he took the vacation they wanted him to take, he stopped sleeping around, he stayed out of the media.  That was what the team wanted, to act responsible so that the public would see them as trustworthy and Tony did everything, but he still wasn’t cleared.  Maybe it was just him.  They didn’t want him on the team because he was the one that caused the problems.  If the Avengers wanted to be trustworthy then they needed to get rid of the useless, irresponsible, and destructive Tony Stark.

When the doors opened David was there waiting for him, his face red and his eyes wild.  “Where were you?”  He asked quickly.  “I called and you didn’t answer.”

“Oh.”  Tony said, relaxing as David wrapped his arms around him and held him close.  “Sorry, I was down in the lab.  Must have left my phone up here.  How was work?”

“Work was fine.  How are you?”  David said, not pulling back as he pressed a kiss to Tony’s temple.  “Next time I call, I want you to answer.  I was so worried.”

“Sorry, I was just showing Bucky and Steve my new armor.  I haven’t been in the lab for a while and they just met me down there.”  Tony said.  He closed his eyes and melted into the feeling of David against him.  It was nice to be held, to be wanted.

David seemed to freeze against him, his body tensing and his arms around Tony’s shoulders going stiff as they held him.  “You were with them?”  He asked slowly.

“Yeah, they just wanted to see the armor.” Tony said.

David jerked back with a growl.  “Come on, Tony.  We talked about this.  Why are you so stupid?”  He said, the anger in his voice making Tony’s stomach drop.  “Those bastards don’t care about you and you keep going back to them.  You never let me in your workshop.”

“You never asked to see it.”  Tony said.  David turned on his heel, his hand connecting with the side of Tony’s face harshly.  It wasn’t hard enough to knock him down, it was barely hard enough to force him to step back.  Tony recoiled, his hand going to his cheek.

“Don’t turn this around on me.”  He shouted, advancing on Tony and grabbing onto his arm.  “You turn me away time and time again and then go crawling to them.  You don’t want to make love to me but you’ll go hang out with them.  You don’t want to involve me in your work but you’ll show everything to them.  I thought you loved me!”

Tony didn’t know what to do.  His sweet David was screaming at him, his hand squeezing tightly on his arm and Tony didn’t even have the energy to pull back.  How did he screw this up so soon?  What did he do wrong this time?

"I'm sorry."  Tony said quickly.  "I'll do whatever, just let me fix it."

This was wrong. Everything about this seemed so wrong. Tony couldn't pull his arm away and he didn't know what he did wrong, nothing in what he did seemed like anything terrible, but this had to be his fault somehow. He just wanted to get away, fight back, but he couldn't. Tony was sure there was a reason for what was going on. He had to find a way to fix it because if all he ever did was screw things up he had to do something because David couldn't be another person Tony drove away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. So sorry. It's going to be really bad for a while but I promise things will get better.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some really disturbing things in this one. Sorry.

Tony felt parts of him shut off as old instincts resurfaced almost immediately.  He was too tired, too weak to do anything.  If David wanted to hit him again he would fully be capable of doing just that.  This was his fault anyway, Tony didn’t have the slightest clue of what he did wrong, but whenever someone hit him it was always because of something he did.

“Why aren’t you listening to me?”  David said quickly, yanking on Tony’s arm to pull him closer.  He didn’t put up a fight, he just let his whole body go limp as David shouted at him.  “Jesus, you can’t even listen when we’re having a fight.  I don’t want you to fix anything, I just want you to remember than I’m your boyfriend now.  The team don’t give a shit so stop fawning over them.”

“I’m not fawning over them, I swear.”  Tony said quickly.  “You’re everything, I love you.  Not them.”

Right now the only thing on Tony’s mind was making David happy.  His whole body was relaxed as he waited for either another blow the he couldn’t escape from or for this argument to die down.  David growled and pushed him away.  The hard grip on his arm disappeared and instead David shoved Tony hard, forcing him to stumble backwards.  It was painful, but at least they were putting distance between themselves.

“Fine.”  David said, his voice shaking with anger.  “You know what, just go to bed.  I need to go clear my head.”

Before Tony could even react David was stomping away, his whole body looked tense and Tony didn’t want to call out to him.  He was leaving to go cool down and it would be best if Tony just found a place to curl up and disappear where he wouldn’t bother people anymore.  Once David turned and slammed the door behind him Tony jerked, adrenaline flooding his body as he allowed himself to move again.

David had hit him.  He wasn’t supposed to hit him.  Jarvis had told him time and time again that people should never raise a hand to those they love.  Both Jarvis’s, over and over again but it didn’t seem to matter because David had hit him.  Tony was too tired to think too deeply on it, his mind jumping from one thought to the next and seemingly unable to focus on anything to actually understand.  It was like his mind was covered in a veil and he couldn’t reach it.

Tony went to bed, walking slowly towards the room and leaving the lights off as he went.  Everything hurt, his face, his arms, his back.  Every part of him that David had touched in the last twenty-four hours was aching and Tony didn’t even care anymore.  He had ruined it, he was always going to ruin everything.

It had to be something he did.  Tony wasn’t sure what it was, he ruined things with the team by being irresponsible and useless, but in another hopeless attempt to prove himself he kept digging himself deeper into the hole and even pissed off David.  He sunk into the covers and just let the warmth of his blankets seep into him.

“Sunshine?”  David said softly as he opened the bedroom door.  Tony didn’t know how much time had passed, but David sounded calmer.  He heard the footsteps grow closer and the bed dip as David slipped in next to him.  Arms gently wrapped around his middle and a face pressed against his shoulder.  “Are you awake?”

“Yes.”  Tony said.  He pulled away slightly, if David was so angry with him for some crime Tony didn’t even know he made then he shouldn’t be so gentle now.  Tony didn’t want to be touched, he didn’t know when those hands would turn angry again.

“I’m sorry, my gorgeous sunshine.”  David whispered, pressing a soft kiss to Tony’s shoulder.  “I didn’t mean to get so rough with you, you just make me so angry sometimes.  I won’t do it again.”

“I don’t even know what I did.”  Tony said.

“I was just jealous is all.  Don’t be mad, love.  I’ll make it up to you.”  David said, his carefully running a hand up Tony’s chest and dragging his shirt along with it.  “Tell me you forgive me.”

Tony didn’t want to answer.  Jarvis said that no one should ever raise a hand to their loved ones, but he was absolutely sure this was his fault.  Tony just had that type of personality, even Steve wanted to kick his ass when they first met.  He couldn’t blame David for snapping after he had put up with him for as long as he did.  Sooner or later it was bound to happen.

“Don’t worry about it.”  Tony said. 

David pulled him closer, squeezing his arms tighter around Tony’s stomach.  “No, you have to say you forgive me.”  He said softly.  “I won’t be able to get a bit of sleep if you don’t.  Please forgive me, my beautiful sunshine.”

“Alright, I forgive you.”  Tony said, smiling at the happy little sound David made.  That was good, he could still make him happy. He hadn’t ruined this completely just yet.

David’s hand pressed against his stomach and his chest, pulling him flush against David’s chest.  Tony really wasn’t in the mood for sex, he was still sore from the night before and so soon after an argument like that had left him aching and exhausted.  But he couldn’t turn David away, not again when he’s still upset about him spending even a bit of time with Steve and Bucky.  He didn’t fight when David rolled him over onto his stomach, his mouth kissing along his neck.  Tony didn’t even think he could if he wanted to, his arms and legs were too heavy to do much more than the basic movements.  He was just tired.

“Look at how beautiful and perfect you are.”  David said slowly.  “And all mine.”

Tony warmed up a bit at that.  David still loved him, still wanted him after everything.  “Can I keep my shirt on?”  Tony asked quickly as hands started to tug it off.

David stopped and for a moment Tony though he would let him keep it on.  It was nice to be covered sometimes, to have his hideous scars hidden and a layer between his chest and the world.  But David kept tugging and then pulled it off over his head.  David’s mouth then started to run along his spine and down his back.  Tony made sure his chest stayed flat against the bed, no one wanted to see it even if David demanded his shirt be off.

Tony held his breath as those hands found their way to the elastic of his sweatpants, slowly starting to push them down his hips.  He closed his eyes, trying to get his heart to stop pounding as he David hummed against him.

“See, you still love me.”  David said softly.  “You forgive me because you’re my perfect sunshine.”

It was nicer than the night before, David hadn’t been nearly as rough.  It still hurt though, Tony’s body was still bouncing back from everything it had taken and by the end of it he didn’t even think he could move.  Tony held in the sobs that threatened to break through his chest.  He wanted to curl up and disappear, but he refused.  He was Tony Stark, Iron Man.  He should not be this upset because his boyfriend got a bit rough.  He had survived worse than a smack to the face, it didn’t matter what Jarvis had told him decades ago.  He was fine.

David was holding him closely, cuddling against his back as he slept peacefully.  This was nice, even though Tony hated the sex it was good just to be held for a little while by someone who cared about him.  This was what he needed.  Tony could be better if he just stopped being an irresponsible idiot and did what he was told.  That’s all anyone wanted from him, to do what they told him to do.  It’s what Howard had wanted, it’s what the team wants, and it’s what David wants.  It was probably what Pepper wanted to, but he just kept failing her until she left him.  If Tony could just behave then no one would hit him or leave him anymore.

“Go to sleep.”  David mumbled, burying his face into Tony’s neck.

Tony’s eyes snapped shut at the order.  He could do this.  David wouldn’t be angry with him anymore after this.  Tony wouldn’t give him a reason to, he’ll be the perfect man everyone wanted him to be.  Then David would be happy and they’ll let him back on the team.  Maybe Pepper would even start talking to him again, even if it was just to handle SI business.  Tony could do this.  He would be just fine.

“I hear you thinking.”  David said softly.  “Go to sleep.  I have to leave early tomorrow for work and I want to see you before I go.”

“Sorry.”  Tony said.  He laid perfectly still, tried to slow his breathing, and desperately wished for sleep to come and take him.


	10. Chapter 10

Logically Tony understood that this was all wrong.  People weren’t supposed to leave bruises.  Tony’s arms weren’t supposed to be littered with fingerprints and his back and chest covered in dark purple blotches from either when David tried to either push him away or hold him down.  His face wasn’t supposed to be so pale, his eyes weren’t supposed to be so glassy, this whole thing was the opposite of what his life should be.  But logic wasn’t working in his head, there was a blanket that seemed to wrap around his thoughts to keep them from going too far, and this situation seemed just fine, he was finally behaving himself and staying out of the news just like the team wanted.

He could handle it, David only ever got rough with him when Tony went too far with something and even then it wasn’t anything that was too much for Iron Man.  He was a superhero, he put on a metal suit and fought aliens alongside aliens.  He would be just fine with his art dealer boyfriend getting a bit physical.

So if things were fine then why couldn’t he get out of bed?  He wasn’t restrained in any way, he could feel his hands and feet, he was awake enough to move, but he didn’t.  Tony just didn’t seem to have the energy right now.  He had felt it drain away the past few weeks, he stopped going out, stopped going to the workshop, stopped leaving the penthouse, and now he hardly ever left his room.  David had happily taken it upon himself to care for him again, stating he was either still getting over the mystery flu or old age catching up with him.

No one had come up to see him.  It’s not surprising, after the argument he had with Steve and Bucky a few weeks back.  That was all Tony seemed good for, arguing with people, getting people to hate him.  Still, on days like these where David left for work and Tony was alone in his room it would have been nice to have some company.

He reached over to his nightstand and grabbed his phone.  At first he went to text Pepper, he had always relied on her for everything, trusted her with everything, but given their current situation it seemed inappropriate to text his ex-girlfriend because he wasn’t feeling right with his current boyfriend.  He almost texted Rhodey as well, his oldest and closest friend.  He would know how to fix things, how to get Tony to stop screwing everything up so he and David could be as happy and carefree as they were in the beginning.

Tony ended up texting Steve.  Immediately he got a response that promised he would be up in just a few minutes.  It was a stupid plan, if David found out he was hanging out with Steve in their room he would be pissed off.  Rightfully so, this felt too much like sneaking around, but Tony just needed someone.

He struggled to sit up, his whole body feeling a thousand pounds heavier as he reached over and pulled on a t-shirt.  He wanted the company, not for Steve to harass him about a few bruises that didn’t even hurt that bad.  Standing up was the next challenge.  It wasn’t right, he had fought aliens and monsters and flown nukes through wormholes, he shouldn’t be having so much trouble just getting out of bed.  Yet here he was, out of breath but standing.  He stumbled slowly into the living room and barely managed to collapse on the couch when the elevator doors opened and Steve walked out.

“You look awful.”  Steve said as his eyes landed on Tony.

“Thanks sweetheart.  You really know how to make a fella feel special.”  Tony said.  He grabbed a blanket off of the back of the couch and pulled it over his shoulders.  “Are you going to stand there and insult me or are we going to watch Star Wars prequels?”

“I heard they sucked.”  Steve said.  He walked further into the room, his steps slowing the closer he got to Tony until he stopped completely in front of him.  “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.”  Tony said quickly.  “And they don’t suck.  I thought they were pretty decent.  They’re just drastically different than the originals and that pisses people off.  And there was too much CGI but who cares.”

Steve paused, a frown pulling down the corners of his lips as he moved to sit down next to Tony on the couch.  “Have you been sleeping?”  He asked quickly, reaching out to take Tony’s face in his hands.  Tony almost pulled back, but Steve’s hands were gentle and warm and he didn’t once think that those hands would turn violent and strike him for speaking out of turn.

“Yeah, a lot actually.”  Tony mumbled.

Steve hummed as he ran a thumb over the mostly faded bruise on his cheek.  “Where did you get this?”

Tony closed his eyes as Steve carefully touched him.  He could tell the truth, it wasn’t a big deal.  He was Iron Man, he could take a few weak punches.  This hadn’t even been anything serious.  It was from a while ago, the first time David had struck him it was on the face, slapping him for sneaking off to spend time with Steve and Bucky.  It was barely there now, mostly gone except for a few remaining hints of yellowish discoloration.  If he really wanted to make Steve ask questions he could take off his shirt again and show him the collage of color there was now, but Tony didn’t want to take off his shirt.  He hated taking off his shirt.

“Got out of the shower and slipped on the tiles and smacked my face against the counter.  Hurt like a bitch when it happened.”  Tony said casually.  He didn’t feel like explaining.  If Steve was anything like Jarvis, either one, there would be a lecture on how people are supposed to treat each other and how people who care should never hurt their loved ones.  Tony didn’t feel like hearing it, they were all wrong because when it came to him he could take it.  Tony was Iron Man.  He could handle this just fine.

“You know if you were more careful things like this wouldn’t happen.”  Steve said.  Tony pressed his lips together, even though Steve didn’t understand he was absolutely right.  He just needed to stop being such an asshole and things would be better.  He just had to do what was good and make David happy.  “It looks old.”

“Yeah, well we haven’t seen each other in a while.”  Tony said, pulling his face out of Steve’s hands.  It was nice to be touched so gently, so carefully, but it was enough.  Tony couldn’t have too much, he was already being so incredibly selfish asking Steve up here to sit with him just because he was lonely.  Steve had more important things to do, things he would rather spend his time on, things he actually cared about.

Steve pulled back as well, shrinking back into his own seat and crossing his arms.  “Didn’t think you wanted any of us up here.  You and your new boyfriend have been spending all your time together.”  Steve said slowly, a bitter note in his tone.

“Well, we’re happy and in love.  Excuse me for wanting to savor that while I can.”  Tony said.  Steve looked back at him.  “What’s new with the team?”

“Nothing much, things have been pretty quiet.  Clint’s off doing whatever it is he does, Nat’s been taking a lot of missions.  Thor stopped by a little while ago, wondered where you were.”  Steve said.  He stared blankly at the still off television as he spoke.  “Bucky and Sam have been spending a lot of time together, not sure what they’re up to but it gets lonely since it’s mostly me on my own while they’re gone.”

“Well, you’re always welcome to come up and visit me.”  Tony said.  He regretted the words as soon as he said them.  David didn’t like the team, he didn’t like Tony spending time with them.  He was convinced they didn’t care about Tony and he was definitely right, but even a pretend friendship was better than lying around in bed waiting for him to come home.  “Call first though.  I’ve been tired lately so I don’t want you interrupting my beauty sleep.”

“You’re beautiful enough already.”  Steve said quickly.  His mouth snapped shut as he said the words.  “You know, you look fine.  But you could probably use some rest, you’re barely awake as it is.”

Tony hummed softly.  “Yeah.”

Steve seemed surprised at that, turning to him with a half open smile and wide eyes.  “So you’re admitting it now?”  He said.  Tony raised an eyebrow in question.  “That you’re tired and could use a break?  I don’t like seeing you so worn down.  I miss when you were vibrant and loud and happy, running all over the place and rambling about everything on your mind.”

When he said it like that Tony felt like an annoying kid who couldn’t leave others alone.  He felt bothersome.  Things were better this way, he was relaxing like they said, taking a break like they wanted.  The team was getting exactly what they wanted.  Certainly the ends justify the means in this situation.  It wasn’t really abuse when it’s him, he was always so good at taking a hit.  He made a career of it, it’s different.

“I’m tired, yeah.  I think I’m not sleeping enough.”  Tony said slowly.  It didn’t sound right, he was sleeping for over ten hours every day and even then couldn’t get out of bed most days.  Something was going on.  He had no idea what, his head couldn’t catch up quickly enough to figure out what was happening to him.

“Well, I could go.  You could take a nap.”  Steve said.  “But call me when you wake up and are ready to watch Star Wars.  I hate that I don’t see you that much, but at least your new boyfriend keeps you company.  Every time one of us comes up here he says you’re busy so at least you’re not just moping around.”

Tony had to smile at that, because he really was just moping around.  David said he was busy, the only reason Tony could think that he would lie about that was if he was trying to get the team to let Tony back, to show that he was still responsible.  David may not like the team, but he still wanted Tony to be happy.  Certainly Tony going back to work would be wonderful for everyone as long as he followed orders and did what he was supposed to.

“Yeah.”  Tony said.  “You should go.”

He pulled the blanket tighter around his shoulders and Tony was sure he was just going to get up and leave.  He almost jerked away when Steve leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.  “Get some rest.”  He said.  “We care about you, let me know if you need anything.”

Then he got up and left, Tony watched him go.  He stayed on the couch, not trusting his legs to be able to take him back to bed.  He could just sleep here until David got home.  He would be fine then, he always enjoyed taking care of a sick Tony.  Once he was better, if his energy ever came back and he could get his head to work through all the contradicting thoughts that flooded him mind with no way out, maybe he could go back to work.  They wanted him to take a vacation because he was incompetent, he needed to follow orders and think clearly to be let back on.

Tony’s eyes settled on the bar, too far away for him to get to himself, but surely once David was back he wouldn’t mind them sharing a drink or two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, I didn't mean for it to be that long until I updated.
> 
> Anyway, regarding this chapter. Tony isn't in his right state of mind (will be revealed more later on) and is being punished for a completely innocent thing. Nothing graphic, but it's still there.

“He was here, wasn’t he?”  David said, pacing around the room in front of Tony.  “I leave for a few goddamn hours and you invite other men up here.  Are you so fucking stupid to think he actually gives a shit about you?”

“He’s just a teammate.” Tony said softly.  “I have to at least keep up with the team captain if I’m going to be affective in battle.”

“Well maybe I don’t want you to be in battle anyway.  Do you ever stop to think about me, your boyfriend, and what I want?”  David looked like a caged tiger as he walked back and forth across the living room and that realization made Tony think of himself as a stupid goat who had been tossed into the cage with him.

Tony felt guilty as soon as he thought it.  David wasn’t dangerous, he got a bit rough sometimes and Tony was willing to admit that, but he was Iron Man.  He was a superhero and he didn’t get scared of his civilian boyfriend.  Tony looked down at his hands.  He could call the suit, the joints and spine were protected and enforced so even if Tony felt too tired and too sick to stand for too long the suit would support him.  He was Iron Man, he didn’t get bothered by his art dealer boyfriend hitting him a few times.  Tony could allow that to happen, he had the upper hand.

When David stepped forward, his hand raised high and then falling with a sharp slap to his face, Tony didn’t do a thing.  David could hit him all he wanted, Tony still had the power.  The slap stung and Tony turned his face away.  If this was what David needed to get his anger out, Tony didn’t mind.  He could live with it.  A hand curled into his hair and pulled him from the couch.  Tony’s knees hit the carpet with a dull thud and if not for the grip on his hair holding him up he was sure he would just collapse onto the floor.

“Why can’t you just behave?  You know how I feel about you spending time with those people and yet you go behind my back to do it anyway.  Why do you have to be so difficult?  I only want what’s best for you.”  David said quickly, his voice trembling with anger and Tony couldn’t help but feel that he was right.  He just didn’t want to be alone anymore.  He felt like he was falling apart, his body not responding when Tony wanted to get up and walk around.  He was trapped wherever David left him for the day to wait until he got back from work.  Tony just didn’t want to be alone.

“I don’t know what’s going on.”  Tony said slowly.  “I’m sorry.  I am.  I just wanted someone to be here.  I can’t do anything.  I can’t think, move. Something’s happening to me.”

The grip on his hair lessened, but the hand stayed.  Tony closed his eyes, waiting for another hit or insult or anything to let David’s anger out on him.  It didn’t come.  Instead the hand moved to run through his hair like someone petting a misbehaving, but still cared for, animal.  The thought nearly made him sick.  This was the second time in the last ten minutes Tony had thought of himself as an animal at David’s mercy.

“Sweetheart, you’re just tired.  You shouldn’t do those things when you know it makes me mad, but maybe I shouldn’t have left you alone for so long.”  David said.  He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on Tony’s forehead.  “You’re going to apologize to me, make it up to me because I really don’t like it when you do what you’re supposed to.  Then I’m going to fix you something to eat.  Something that’ll make you relaxed, get all those bad little thoughts out of your head about not doing what you’re supposed to.  I like it when you’re relaxed.”

There was a slippery quality to David’s tone.  Something that made Tony’s insides crawl around like a thousand scurrying bugs.  He didn’t want to relax, didn’t know how any of it was supposed to get Tony feeling right again.  He couldn’t focus on how to get his arms and legs working long enough to realize the issue.  He just felt like jelly that was unable to hold itself together.

“Remember how mouthy you were back at Malibu?  I don’t want you like that anymore.  I’m making sure you aren’t like that anymore, so just do what I say and we’ll both be happier.”  David said.  His hands stayed in Tony’s hair as he tilted his head back while his other hand went down to his pants.  “So, you’re going to make this up to me and then I’m going to make you dinner.  You’ll realize how much I love you once you’re not so confused.  Then you’ll behave.”

David pulled Tony’s head back so his throat was exposed, the buckle came loose from his pants and he quickly opened it.  Tony didn’t want to do that, he didn’t want this.  He was tired, he didn’t feel right.  His face hurt and the grip on his hair was once again too painful.  He wanted to curl up in a dark place and hide away forever.

It was easy to just let himself drift away.  He had been doing that too much these days, the fuzziness in his head taking over until hours go by and Tony hadn’t moved an inch.  Maybe he was lucky this time.  He just wanted to go back to bed and sleep.  His whole body was screaming for him to sleep, the heaviness in his limbs almost too much for him to handle, the burning in his eyes as they tried to slide closed and stay shut.  Sleep would be fantastic.  Maybe once he woke up he would think clearly again, his body would feel and move as it should.

Tony was jerked back to reality with a sharp tug to his hair, David muttering something softly as he kept going.  He closed his eyes and tried to go back to that distant place in his head where he wanted nothing but sleep, where his whole being was centered on the need to rest.  It was hard, Tony couldn’t slip away again.  He didn’t know what exactly was happening and he didn’t know how to get it to stop.  There were so many smells and sounds, tastes and feelings that were invading him all at once and Tony just wanted it all to stop.

David pulled back, his hands releasing Tony’s hair and without that support he fell right to the ground.  “See, you were so good for me, my gorgeous sunshine.”  David said softly.  Tony brought his knees up to his chest and took a deep breath.  Maybe he could sleep now.  He just wanted to sleep.  “Don’t worry.  I forgive you now.  You go to bed and I’ll bring you something to eat.”

“Not hungry.”  Tony muttered, his body shaking slightly.  He hurt, his head aching and his stomach spasming.  If he ate anything now it wouldn’t stay down for too long.

“No, Tony.  You have to have something.  Trust me, it’ll make everything so much easier.”  David said, buttoning his pants and walking around him towards the kitchen.

“Can I have a drink?”  Tony asked.  “Please, I just want something to drink.”

David paused, turning towards Tony.  He couldn’t lift up his head to look at him, but Tony could see his shoes not far off to the side.  If David wanted to he could start kicking him, bashing his boots into his ribs or face.  Tony wouldn’t even be surprised if he did.

“I just need a drink.  You know I always have a good time when I’m drinking.”  Tony needed a drink.  His body hurt and his skin was crawling, he wanted to drown it all out with alcohol.  It had never failed him before.

“But I was going to make you something special.  I know this really great secret ingredient to make you relax.  You’re easier to handle that way.”  David said.  Tony didn’t look up to see his face, didn’t want to move a muscle ever again.  “I guess it would still work.”

He bent down and grabbed Tony’s arms, pulling him upright and pointing to the couch.  Tony understood an order when it was given and stumbled over to it, plopping down onto the cushions and curling up tightly.  Maybe this was why Tony didn’t feel right, he hadn’t had anything to drink since they got back from Malibu.  He drank a lot and often and it’s been weeks now.  His body wasn’t used to it.  This might be a sign that he needs to cut back, but right now he just wanted a drink.

David grabbed Tony’s hands and placed a cool glass into them.  “There you go sunshine.  Only because you were so good just now.”  He said slowly, leaning forward to press his lips against Tony’s temple.  “But if I find out you’ve been bringing them back up here I won’t be so gentle with you next time.”

“How did you know Steve was here?  I wasn’t going to keep it a secret, but you knew before I could tell you.”  Tony said slowly.  It was a lie, he was going to keep it a secret, lie about it.  David was probably right, the team hated him, but that didn’t mean Tony didn’t like them.

“I’ve been watching.  You know I have to look out for you, especially now that you’re doing so much better.  I want you to be the perfect and wonderful person I know you can be, just have to be good from now on.  Alright, I have to take care of you.”  David said.  Tony didn’t understand, his words didn’t filter through his head correctly and the meanings filtered through before he could grasp onto it.  David grabbed Tony’s hands and lifted the drink up to his lips.  “Now, this will make you relax.  Calm you down.  Drink it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, things will get better soon. Sorry for all the angst.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops. I know it's been two months but I can explain. I had summer classes and at one point I was working two jobs and I hardly had time to update my other fics too. But here it is, hasty and short and I'm not all satisfied with it, but it's here.

Tony woke up confused, he felt like the room was spinning around him and an overwhelming heat was burning him alive.  The world distorted and lights became blinding and Tony couldn’t find the energy to call out for help.  He could find the energy to do anything.  He was probably going to die like this, for weeks he had felt sick and tired and he had long since stopped hoping to get better, now it finally had to be killing him.

He felt like his body was spinning, even though he wasn’t moving at all.  Before Tony realized what was happening or what he was doing or where he even was.  His living room, curled up on the couch with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders.  There was an empty bottle not far from him, David had refilled his glass every time Tony asked him to.

There was a few moments as Tony woke up that he thought he was suffocating.  He couldn’t get air into his lungs and he gasped for breath but none came.  He felt weak, he wanted to reach for his throat to see if he could find whatever was blocking his airway.  He wanted to stand up and run to the infirmary until they found whatever was wrong with him.  Tony needed help.

“Tony!”  A voice called out.  Firm hands were shaking him roughly and he could do nothing to stop them.  “Fuck, Tony.  Hold on.”

Where was David?  The voice wasn’t David’s.  David was supposed to be here, he was supposed to take care of him.  He was the one who loved Tony.

Warm arms wrapped around him and held him close.  “Friday!”  A voice called out.  Tony couldn’t place it.  He couldn’t get his head to think straight.  “God damn it.”

Tony didn’t know who was talking to him, but they had to be strong enough to carry him.  It didn’t narrow the options much; Tony had lost a lot of weight the past few weeks and at least he was aware of that much.  The hands were gentle and calm as the supported him and held him close.  He didn’t know where he was going, but he liked being held by this stranger.  Tony wanted to sink into the touch and never wake up again.  He still couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move or even speak to tell the stranger as much, but at least he was a bit comfortable.

~~~

Tony was warm.  So warm in this bright white space and he never wanted to leave it.  He was safe here.  There was no way he could make a mistake if he just floated in this place just outside of consciousness, he couldn’t disappoint anyone while he was here.  It was peaceful.

The warm, white space around him shifted slightly.  The walls came into focus and the gentle sounds focused until he heard the beeping of the machine he was hooked up to.

He was alone.  All things considered it must mean the team must have finally left.  They relocated somewhere, done with all of his bullshit behavior and now he was too sick to be on the team.  Tony’s usefulness had run out.

“David?”  Tony called out into the room.  His voice was rough and quiet and the noise didn’t carry far.

No one came.  Tony tried to sit up, perhaps he could find him and figure out what had happened.  If he really was sick enough to be here then surely someone would care enough to be here to look out for him.  It was almost too much work to sit up in bed, his arms shaking as they tried to support him.  This was the first step, now he just had to get out of bed.

It was a mistake.  The moment Tony shifted his weight we was falling over the edge and onto the cold ground.  He whimpered as he hit the floor, wishing he had the strength to get back up and crawl under the warm covers.  “David?”  Tony called out again.  “Please, I’m sorry.”

“Tony!”

Rhodey knelt down and carefully reached out to him.  “Jesus, I leave for five minutes and this is what happens?”

Tony flinched at the annoyance and anger in his tone.  “I’m sorry.  I was just… where is everyone?”  Tony asked.

He held onto Rhodey tightly, his hands curling into his shirt and refusing to let go.  He was still here; Rhodey would never just leave him.  After everything the two of them had done over the decades it was one of the few certainties Tony had.  Rhodey couldn’t just leave him.  It was a relief when he didn’t move to pull away either, just let Tony hold on as he tried to help him up and back into bed.

“Did you really just apologize?”  Rhodey asked.  He held Tony firmly, keeping him upright before gently helping him back down onto the bed.  “What did I miss while I was gone?  Seriously, I come back and find you half dead on your living room floor and the doctors are talking about drugs in your blood work.  I want answers, Tony.”

A cold chill settled in the room.  “What?”  Tony asked.  He wasn’t on drugs, he hadn’t touched anything stronger than alcohol in almost twenty years.  It didn’t make sense.

Rhodey pinned a look on him, for a moment Tony was about to apologize again until he realized he had nothing to apologize for.  He wasn’t doing any drugs, he hadn’t taken anything.  This was all a big mistake.  “I don’t get it either, but I left for work and you were doing great and I come back and… I’m worried.”

“I’m sorry.”  Tony said.  The apology came so naturally that Tony blinked in confusion.  He had nothing to be sorry about, he didn’t know why he was apologizing.  “I didn’t… I’m not on drugs.”

There was no reason for Rhodey to believe him.  If he heard about all the shit he had done since Pepper left him then there was no reason to trust a single thing Tony had to say.  He slept around, he drank too much, he put the team at risk by ruining their public image.  It would be only natural to think he was on drugs too, but he didn’t remember ever taking any.  Rhodey watched him, reaching out and squeezing his hand and cocking his head to the side as he analyzed Tony’s expression.  He probably saw all sorts of things there, his lies and deceit and worthlessness.  But maybe he also saw the truth in this one small thing.

“I don’t’ remember taking anything.”  Tony said quickly, squeezing Rhodey’s hand a bit harder.  “I haven’t even left the house in weeks, I don’t know how I have drugs in my system.  What kind are they?”

“Sedatives.  Strong ones.  Kinda like the ones you used to take in college to help you sleep and got hooked on.”  Rhodey said.  He didn’t let go of Tony’s hand and instead held on just as tight.  It was comforting.  “You do know this looks bad, don’t you?”

“Yes, but I promise I’m not taking anything.  I demand a retest!”  Tony said.

“Well if you say you’re not taking any then someone is giving them to you. Which would also mean you weren’t stupid enough to mix sedatives with alcohol and this whole thing was just an accident.”

“What whole thing?”  Tony asked.

Rhodey looked sad then, the expression mixing with the fear and anger still lingering there.  “Tones, you’re on suicide watch.”  He said slowly.  “They thought you were mixing drugs and alcohol and the team told me you’ve been isolating yourself lately and I was really worried about you.”

“That’s fucking stupid.  Okay, I’m not suicidal.”  Tony snapped.  He wanted out of here.  He wanted to go home.  He wanted David to come back.  Where was he?

“I believe you, but I swear that until we figure out what is going on I’m not letting you out of my sight for a minute.  I can’t believe this.”  Rhodey said.  “Someone is drugging you Tony and nobody noticed.  You could have died, alone in your own home, and not one of those assholes knew a damn thing about what was going on when I found you.”

“Can’t blame them, honeybear.  I’ve been a dick the past few weeks.”

Rhodey groaned and rolled his eyes.  “You’re always a dick, doesn’t mean people should just ditch you and leave you to die in a drug and alcohol induced attack.”  He said quickly.  Rhodey looked back at the door with a growl.  “I’m pissed, but they’re all freaked out.”

If Rhodey hadn’t been holding his hand so firmly Tony was sure it would be shaking.  It was so cold and even on the bed and under the covers he couldn’t bring back the warmth he had felt when he first woke up.  The team was going to leave because of this.  They would so easily believe he was some junky popping pills alone in his penthouse.  The moment they heard they would kick him off the team, would leave him to his own devices, wouldn’t even wish him the best of luck.

“Don’t tell them about this.”  Tony said quickly.  “They’re already pissed at me.  They can’t know about the drugs.”

“You said you weren’t taking them.  If someone’s drugging you without you knowing then the team deserves to know so they can help keep you safe.”  Rhodey said.  “You said you didn’t know about this.”

Tony could hear the questions in his tone, the accusations and the worry.  Rhodey didn’t quite believe him, didn’t trust him to stay clean after so long.  Tony didn’t really blame him, but it still hurt.

“I don’t know anything about it, but telling the team would only make things worse.”  Tony said. 

It didn’t make sense and Tony knew he was sounding suspicious just for asking, but the team couldn’t know about this.  They were going to leave him.  They already hated him and Tony just knew that if things got any worse they would leave him.

“Tony, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”  Rhodey said.

He took a deep breath and gave Rhodey’s hand one more squeeze.  Rhodey would never leave.  “Please, just for right now until we figure it out.”  Tony said.  He needed to find David.  He needed his help figuring out what was going on with him, he would take care of Tony just like he had been doing.  “Just trust me with this.  Don’t tell them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise things will be getting better for poor Tony soon.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops.

Tony felt sick, his whole body screaming at him in pain and nausea and there was no way for him to stop it.  Rhodey stayed by his side, watching quietly as he shivered and begged.  Tony was in so much pain, he felt like he was dying.  He had no idea how he had taken so many drugs for so long that the withdrawals would be this hard.

He hadn’t had any visitors, not a single person showed their face in this room besides Rhodey and the doctors.  It was probably for the best, Tony didn’t want to be seen like this.  The last time he had suffered through any sort of drug withdrawals it had been in a small facility in the middle of nowhere.  Rhodey had been by his side too as Howard told the media he was vacationing in the Caribbean.  This was different.  The last time he at least knew there were drugs that he had been taking.

Tony didn’t have time to think about it.  He couldn’t think of much of anything other than the pain and nausea of his drugs begging for drugs Tony didn’t even know he had been taking in an apparently long enough time to build up some sort of tolerance.

“You’re going to be fine.”  Rhodey said again.  It was what he always said, every time Tony did something stupid and ended up stuck in the hospital he would sit by his side and hold his hand and tell him that everything was going to be okay.  Sometimes it was annoying and sometimes it wasn’t.  Tony wasn’t sure what it was in this moment, he wasn’t sure how he felt about his friend being here.  He wasn’t sure of anything.

“Talk to me, Tony.  It’s never a good thing when you’re so deathly quiet.”  Rhodey said.  He reached out and lay a hand on Tony’s shoulder, squeezing it softly and leaving it there.  “Tell me more about your projects, or if Dum-E is still trying to put on that Santa hat.  Please just talk to me.”

There wasn’t really much to say.  Tony couldn’t remembered anything that was going on in his life.  His team didn’t care, Pepper handled the company, and all he had in the whole world was David there to take care of him.

“I sleep a lot now.”  Tony said.  It was the truth that was most of his days recently.  Confined to his bed and resting with not enough energy to go down to his workshop and no drive to face all the people he had disappointed.  There was very little he had to keep him going, he had no reason to get out of bed so it had been fitting that he couldn’t get up for weeks.  “I was tired.”

His breath hitched as another wave of nausea flooded through him.  Withdrawal was harder than he remembered it being.  As a young college student with all the time and money in the world he had done a lot of stupid things and when he was put into that small rehab center it wasn’t nearly this hard.  His young body cleansed itself and Tony remembered being so cold and uncomfortable and terrified, but not nearly in this much pain.

“Yeah with the amount of sedatives in your system I’m not surprised.”  Rhodey said.  His voice was soft and gentle, something Tony was immensely grateful for.  The pounding in his head was agitated by the smallest of sounds and Rhodey using his normal speaking voice would almost have been torture.  “Come on, certainly you did more while I was gone besides sleep.

Tony wasn’t stupid, he knew what Rhodey was trying to do.  It was his clever way of trying to distract Tony from all the discomfort while also pumping him for information.  There still wasn’t much to say, Tony couldn’t think of anything besides his need to vomit and find a hole to die in and even if he could focus for longer than five seconds he knew there was nothing in his life.

“Come on, Tones.  Don’t make me bring Natasha in here to hear all the details about your life.”  Rhodey said, his hand running up and down Tony’s arm and squeezing his shoulder for support.

“Hates me.”  Tony said.  He was shivering more as he leaned back into Rhodey’s hand.  If this was twenty years in the past Rhodey might have just climbed right into bed with him and call him an idiot for ever getting into this mess in the first place.  But it wasn’t twenty years in the past; it was today and they were adults and someone was drugging Tony for a long time without his knowledge.  “They all hate me.”

“They do not.”  Rhodey said.

“They do.  Don’t blame them.”  Tony said.  He felt like going back to sleep.  He had been sleeping non-stop the past few weeks but he didn’t think he would mind just sleeping more.

Rhodey sighed.  They were quiet then, just listening to the beeping of the hospital equipment and Tony’s pained breathing.  Tony didn’t have the energy to argue with him.  He knew what the truth was; the team was sick of him, they couldn’t stand him, he wasn’t even good enough to be Iron Man anymore.  He was a bother, he was useless and annoying.  No one cared about him anymore except David.

“Have you met David?  He been by?”  Tony asked.  He rolled over to look at Rhodey.  David cared about him, David took care of him.

Rhodey frowned, his face pinching up a bit.  “No.  In fact, all I’ve ever heard about this guy is that you and he hole yourselves up on your floor and you never come out anymore.”  He said quickly. 

“Probably busy.  He’ll come back.”  Tony said.  David had a career and a life and sometimes he didn’t always have time to waste on Tony.  There were better things to do than show up and put up with him.

“He’s your new boyfriend?”  Rhodey asked.  Tony nodded softly, his eyes sliding closed as the florescent lights irritated his migraine.  “And you guys have been alone together a lot the past few weeks?”

“Yeah.”  Tony said.  He wanted to say more, like how David kept him fed, always brushed his hair off of his forehead when he was feeling sick.  He wanted Rhodey to know about how loved and cared for he felt with David around.  He wanted them to get along and like each other.

“Where is he?”  Rhodey said and there was a shift in his voice, his tone dropping lower and he spoke slower and Tony almost felt like he was in trouble.

“I don’t know.”

He opened his eyes again because as much as he wanted to just drop off to sleep and not feel pain anymore the distressed sound that escaped his friend’s throat was far more important.  Rhodey looked furious, his eyes burning as he looked at Tony and analyzed him as if he was some form of evidence.  The look was familiar, Tony had seen it back in college whenever Rhodey was close to finding the answer to a problem that had been bothering him or, more recently, when terrorists and national threats left behind a clue or riddle that needed to be solved.  Tony didn’t know why the look was now pointing at him.

“So, you’re telling me you have a boyfriend that you’ve been spending a lot of alone time with and now you’re in the hospital because someone has been drugging you without your knowledge.”  Rhodey said slowly, as if the riddle was unraveling in front of him.

Tony didn’t like how long it took him to understand the implications of Rhodey’s statement.  He was one of the smartest men in the world and his head felt so slow these days.  “What.”  Tony said.  It wasn’t a question, just a vocalization of all the confusion that had been building up inside of him for a long time.  “No, that’s ridiculous.  David isn’t drugging me!  He loves me.”

“Of course he’s telling you he loves you!  What else would he tell you when he’s keeping you away from your team and locking you in your penthouse and drugging you and beating you and doing all this other shit?” Rhodey jumped to his feet and Tony almost flinched.  He wasn’t scared of Rhodey.  “You know what I’ve been hearing from people? I’ve heard that you’ve been sick for a while and that you won’t talk to the team, won’t call Pepper, won’t come out and see anyone.  You look like shit and everyone’s telling me you won’t see them, you won’t talk to them, and you’re scaring everyone.  The doctors are say-“

“They kicked me from the team.”  Tony said, pushing to sit up and fighting off the wave of nausea that crashed over him.  “They’re telling you a load of shit.  Of course I wouldn’t join them in their stupid bonding sessions when they very clearly stated I wasn’t welcome.”

“What am I supposed to believe when the doctors tell me you came in here black and blue?  When the Avengers tell me that you never come out of your room anymore?  When Friday says she doesn’t have access to the surveillance systems you built for her?”  Rhodey spoke quickly and his words were a blur as Tony tried to process them.  His mind was just going too slow for him, he didn’t know what was going on.  There were so many things confusing him and the scariest thing in the world for Tony was not being able to understand.  “I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.  I can’t believe none of us saw what was going on.  Jesus, Tony.  I’m so sorry.”

Rhodey dropped back into his chair and just like that the fight was drained from him.  He slumped forward and rested his head on the bed near Tony’s hand and squeezed his wrist.  Tony was still so confused, his thoughts slow as if moving through honey.  Logically he knew the slow feelings he was having earlier were probably from the drugs, so many drugs apparently, and now he was slowed down because of its after affects.

“He didn’t hit me. He didn’t drug me.”  Tony mumbled.  He was so tired.

“I’m going to get him, I promise.  I’m going to find him and I’m going to kill him.”  Rhodey said, either he didn’t hear what Tony said or he had chosen to ignore it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be 100% honest, without the structure of school to keep me going all I had was work going on and I guess with all the free time I got kinda lost in my head. It was a bad summer, I didn't have a lot of fun, but hopefully now that the fall semester has started I'll get that structure back and can start writing more again.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo.... It's been six months but in my defense I got depressed and I got sick. Then I got better but I'm getting my degree in May, I got engaged technically, and I'm moving in a few months so I've been very busy. Sorry for the delay, I'm trying to get into the habit of writing again.

“That’s not how these things work.”  Rhodey said.  He kept trying to explain it to him, but it didn’t matter.  “I don’t care if you’re as strong and immortal as Thor, people shouldn’t hit you.”

Tony had tried to make him understand it the way he did.  In reality, Rhodey was right.  If Tony looked at it from a grassroots, basic perspective he knew that partners shouldn’t hit each other.  He knew Howard should have never hit him.  Stane should have never hit him.  Anne Faulkner in tenth grade should have never hit him.  But things were different now.  Tony was Iron Man.  He was a hero.  He was stronger than David and he wasn’t weak anymore, he could handle this now.

“I _know_ that.  I’m not stupid!  I know people shouldn’t hit other people.  But this is different.  You don’t understand.”  Tony said.  He was frustrated, he couldn’t find the words he needed to describe it right.  His body was shaky and he felt cold and sick.  The drugs leaving his system were tearing him apart one last time before their last goodbye.

David gave Tony something special.  Tony was strong enough to handle him hitting him sometimes because he needed David to hold him and kiss him and tell him that he loved him.  It was a thousand little bits of affection between the dozens of fights and harsh words.  He knew most of it was his fault, he drove people away.  He disappointed, he couldn’t be responsible enough, he wasn’t a good enough hero.  The team hated him, they weren’t even here.

“I know you’re not stupid.”  Rhodey said.  Tony risked glancing up at him.  He hated how he knew Rhodey enough to know ever expression on his face.  He was angry, he was tired, and he was heartbroken.  That combination of expressions sucked and Tony wished it wasn’t because of him.  “Tony, you’re the smartest person I know, but that doesn’t mean you’re always right.  You’re very wrong about this and I hope that you find comfort in that because you are so wrong.  It’s not different.”

“Go to hell.”

“Not without you.  Because I’m not leaving.  You’re stuck with me asshole and you’re going to be okay.”  Rhodey said.  Tony hated him.  He wanted to get out of bed and fight him, wanted to scream and spit in his face until he left.  Rhodey would hate him then, would leave and never look back.  Tony didn’t need him anymore.

His hands shot up to wipe away the tears before they could get too far down his cheeks.  He wasn’t going to do this, he wasn’t like this.  Tony didn’t cry about other people.  “I’m sorry.”  He whispered.  He wasn’t crying.  Tony refused to believe that.

Rhodey was going to stay though.  There was no doubt in Tony’s head that if he did all those awful things he would stay.  Maybe leave for a little while, he didn’t deserve to be treated like that, but no matter how low Tony got Rhodey stayed.  Tony didn’t deserve him.

“It’s alright, Tones.  It’s all okay.”  Rhodey said softly and although he leaned closer he didn’t reach out to touch him.  Tony was grateful, he was torn between leaping at Rhodey and holding him for days and also wanting to scream at him until he left forever.  Tony was useless, he was stupid and reckless and he didn’t deserve the one friend he had.

“Please leave.”  Tony said softly.  He hid his face, he didn’t deserve this.

“No.”  Rhodey said and he had such firm finality and stubbornness in his voice that Tony believed him.

He laid back down, wanting to sleep and pretend like his life was different than what it was.  He missed David.  He missed Rhodey when he was gone.  He wanted things to be good and for the people who cared about him to always stay close.  It was a pipe dream.

“Don’t make that face.” Rhodey said. 

Tony turned away, putting his back to Rhodey and trying to hide himself away.  He felt like a child, wanting to hide under the covers until all the monsters went away.  There was the soft, disappointed sound of Rhodey sighing but Tony didn’t hear anything else.  He didn’t want to hear anything else.  He didn’t want Rhodey talking so much about how he won’t leave him when Tony knew he didn’t deserve something that good.  He needed David, who loved him despite him not deserving it, who stayed by his side when he made mistake after mistake.

It hurt to know that so far Rhodey had never left him either.  Sure, he went to war, went to his career in the military, went everywhere in the world but he always came back and called Tony his ‘best friend’.  Rhodey never hit him either.  Tony squeezed his eyes shut and pushed the thought from his head.  He would not get convinced to leave David, not when the man meant so much to him.  He was sweet most of the time, why couldn’t they all see it?

“Get some rest, Tony.  Stop overthinking everything.”  Rhodey said softly.  Tony tried to curl up on himself as he pulled the blankets over his head.  He wanted to get out of this hospital room and go home.  David would be there… maybe.  No one had told him where he was at yet.  “The team has been harassing me about you even though I told them to fuck off.  I’m sure they might break down the door soon.  If you’re up to it, you can see them after you rest.”

Tony took a slow, deep breath and let it out.  He hadn’t seen Steve since he had invited him up to the penthouse, since they shared a small chat and he had lied about an old bruise.  They had tried to watch Star Wars if Tony remembered correctly.  It seemed a long time ago and Tony felt like he had fallen asleep before anything happened.  Tony remembered very little of it.

He must have been drugged then too.  He had spent days, even weeks, in that bed sleeping and wondering why but it was so clear now in retrospect.  David did it.  Tony was smart enough to know that, no one else had a chance to drug him continuously for weeks.  But Tony was going to keep lying about it.  Tony needed him.  He needed someone to love him when Rhodey left, someone who at least pretended to care when he made a mess of things.  He would be more careful, he had to be clean to be an Avenger.  But Tony could still take a few punches.

But he wasn’t an Avenger anymore.  He got kicked off the team.  Put on a “vacation” until he got his act together.  That had all gone to shit.  It was pointless now.  They saw what kind of mess he was, they would leave him after this.

“I told you to stop overthinking and to go to sleep.”  Rhodey said.  Tony made a soft, pathetic sound and tried to wipe his eyes with the back of his hand.  He wanted to ask for help, but he wasn’t sure what would happen.  Tony was terrified.

He heard Rhodey sigh and Tony flinched at the sound of him moving.  He didn’t think he was doing anything wrong, he was just laying here.  His blanket moved and he felt Rhodey press against him, careful of the wires he was still hooked up to.  An arm slid around his waist and Rhodey held him close, like he used to do when they were drunk kids at MIT whenever Tony was upset about something stupid.  It was comfortable, a brother offering support.

“I hate you.”  Tony whispered.  One last weak and useless attempt to get him to leave.  He didn’t mean it and Rhodey knew he didn’t. 

“Okay.  Now go to sleep.”  Rhodey said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was short, sorry. I'm trying I promise.  
> Comments are appreciated


	15. Chapter 15

After the withdrawal symptoms faded and Tony was feeling more like himself than he had in a long time he was ready to go home.  Rhodey stayed by his side, throwing his arm over Tony’s shoulders and Happy was there to pick him up.  They went back  home, but as soon as they got into the elevator and went up to his floor he felt so cold and his stomach felt tight.  David wasn’t here, he was nowhere to be seen, but all of his things were here.

Tony walked to the closet and frowned.  His clothes were still hung up beside Tony’s.  His shoes were on the floor.  Everything about the months they had spent together was still perfectly in place yet he wasn’t around.

“The team would still really like to visit if you would let them.  I, personally, would tell them all to go fuck themselves but I’m not here to tell you whether or not you’re allowed to see your friends.”  Rhodey said.  Tony just stared down at the shoes and waited for them to come to life and the man to appear in them as if David was hiding from him in the soles.

“Okay.  Steve maybe.  Wait…”  Tony’s voice faltered as he frowned at the shoes.  They laid still and lifeless.  “Is Bruce back yet?  He said he would be back soon but that was a while ago.”

Rhodey smiled and nodded.  “He showed up while you were in the hospital. He was a bit nervous, didn’t want to put anyone at risk because he was also pissed off.  As he should be.”

“He can come up then, can’t have little Brucie worried about nothing.”  Tony said and he sat down on the bed and kicked off his shoes.  Rhodey seemed to notice all of David’s things and in a fit of disgust and anger he plucked the shoes off of the ground and started to rip the clothes from the closet.  “The team’s not allowed on my floor anymore.  They couldn’t come clean.  Don’t be mad.”

Rhodey didn’t answer, he was just rushing around the room to rip away every piece of evidence that Tony had welcomed David here and he had made himself at home.  Tony was feeling tired again, he had spent weeks in this bedroom feeling sick to his stomach and sleeping his life away and now that he was looking back on it he was surprised he hadn’t guessed drugs to begin with.  But his head wasn’t working with him, he didn’t focus and he didn’t want to think that David would do that.  David loved him.

“Friday, can you send Banner up please?”  Rhodey said as he made a small pile of David’s things.  Friday didn’t answer and Tony grimaced.  “Oh… right.”  Rhodey was pissed off.  It was clearly written in his face.

Tony never shut the AI off in the penthouse, but he had blocked Friday’s surveillance access just because David wanted him to.  It was strange how much he had given to the man, the efforts he would go for just one person to say that he loved him.  Tony hated it.  He hated that he still needed David to come back.

Tony stayed in bed, laid out on top of the covers and staring at the ceiling.  He was tired.  After all the rest he had gotten he had no right to be tired.  Though he was so comfortable he felt no desire to get up out of bed.  He wanted to hide here, he wanted to disappear and just sleep for ages.  David could come back and Tony would be asleep, David would love him and Tony would know that without having to deal with all of the pain.

“Tony?”  Bruce said as he poked his head into the bedroom.

It had been a while since Bruce was home.  He was always off somewhere doing something else that was important.  Tony looked up at him and pushed himself to sit up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.  Bruce walked into the room and sat down on the bed beside Tony, pulling him into a tight hug without hesitation.  It felt nice, it was good and Tony took a deep shaking breath for the first time in a long time.  He had forgotten how to breathe so clearly.

Tony hoped they wouldn’t start talking just yet.  He was tired.  Rhodey had talked non-stop about what he did and did not deserve and what was or wasn’t right.  Tony didn’t care anymore.  He just wanted to be held for a little while and Bruce’s hold was surprisingly strong.  He wasn’t going anywhere.

“You know, Steve was crying this morning.”  Bruce said softly.  “And Natasha’s been uncharacteristically dull.  I arrived a few days ago and so far she hasn’t tried to hide all of my favorite mugs or anything.”

“Don’t worry about it too much.  They might still be mad at me.”  Tony said softly.  Rhodey came back into the room, his arms empty, and Tony could only assume that all of David’s things were purged from the penthouse.  Tony would buy him new things once he finally came back.  “Have you talked to the team yet, Rhodey?”

“I’ve told them to fuck off a few dozen times.  Other than that I’ve been focusing on my number one boy, which unfortunately is you.”  Rhodey sat down on the bed beside them and Tony was sandwiched between the two of them.  It was a safe place.  “They have a lot of explaining to do, but I haven’t been in the mood to listen.  This happened in your home right under their noses and they didn’t bother to pay attention.  And Bruce is pissed too.  Trust me, I know.”

They didn’t do anything wrong.  Tony had been the one to become so unreliable and so reckless that he was forced into a vacation.  He was essentially kicked from the team.  It was Tony’s fault and he wanted to tell Rhodey that.  Steve and Natasha were right.  Besides, David cut him off.  He told Friday to leave the penthouse for David.  He had told Tony that he shouldn’t be around people who didn’t really want him and then locked the door with Tony inside with him.  He was the one to ensure that he would love Tony and take care of him.  Everyone else hated him and Tony felt like they had good reasons to.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this hasn't been updated in 3 months but in my defense I had finals and became a college graduate. Life's been busy.

Tony stayed up in the penthouse most of the time.  It felt off without David, but Tony was breathing easy and he was feeling energized enough to wander around a bit.  He ate breakfast with Bruce and Rhodey.  He watched tv.  He had Friday turned on in the penthouse again.  Things seemed to be going back to the way they were, but people were here to sit with him and talk to him and they didn’t hurt him.  Not once did Bruce or Rhodey dare reach out to strike him.  They listened to him and they didn’t complain about how needy he was for their affections.

They were trying to keep Tony out of their search for David.  It was understandable, they wanted him to relax and heal and work through the problems Tony was starting to realize he had.  David was a tough subject, but Tony snooped in anyway.  He wasn’t a supervillain.  He wasn’t a mastermind or an evil scientist or an alien trying to kill them.  He was an art dealer.  He was someone with too much money and too much time on his hands and he just happened to run into Tony when he was feeling the most vulnerable.  Tony missed him.  He wondered if he was wrong for missing him. 

“Don’t worry about him anymore, Tony.  We took care of it.”  Rhodey said when Tony mentioned it.  He missed David, he didn’t even ask for him back but just said that he missed him.

“What does that mean?  You took care of it?”  Tony asked.

They were sitting in the living room watching tv, a show Tony had already forgotten about.  The penthouse was warm, he was in the comfiest clothes he owned, and yet he felt so wrong, his body was off centered and he knew it was because he missed David.  Tony was scared they had killed him in a fit of angry vengeance.  Rhodey would do it, no one would bat an eye.

“We didn’t kill him.  We just made sure you won’t be hearing from him again.  He can’t hurt anyone anymore, especially not you.”  Rhodey said.

It was so tempting to lash out again.  He was Tony Stark, he was Iron Man, and he didn’t need protecting.  He didn’t need someone to look at him and think about how he couldn’t keep himself safe from a man who liked to hit him.  He held his tongue and pressed his lips together as the show started to play again.  They were watching some show about aliens and maybe it was interesting before but Tony was too lost in thought to pay attention.

His heart was pounding fast and he rubbed his hands together to hide the fact that they were trembling.  He was clearer now with the drugs out of his system but some part of him wished he could go back.  Things didn’t hurt as much.  David promised he loved him, despite how fucked up he was, and that made it all okay.  Tony closed his eyes and tried to get rid of the thoughts.  He was better off now, he wasn’t getting hit, he wasn’t drugged, he was safe with friends who said that they cared about him.  It didn’t make anything change, he still missed David, but maybe if he said he was better off enough times then he would believe it.

Tony stared blankly at the tv as one show switched to another until Friday called his name.

“Boss, Miss Potts is requesting access.”  Friday said.  It was so strange hearing her voice again in his own home.  It wasn’t a bad change, but it shouldn’t be so surprising to him.

Rhodey gave him a look with a soft shrug but Tony wanted to let her in.  He was trying to get himself to be normal again.  Pepper was a fixture in his life, always there even as the years went by.  She was what was normal for him.  He was his best with her around.  He started to run his hands through his hair as she came back in.  He wasn’t presentable, he looked like a hot mess who couldn’t sleep or eat or do anything right.  Not much has changed, he was still a mess but now he just felt worse about it.  Nothing has really changed but it felt like everything has.  Tony reached out for her as she stepped out of the elevator and his heart pounded fast as she wasted no time in coming to him.

Hugging Pepper was always easy, he would say it was as easy as breathing but that wasn’t so easy for him anymore.  It hurt, but Pepper was safe and good.  He almost felt like crying as she ran a soft hand through his hair and let him tuck his head into her neck.  She rocked back and forth lightly and Tony remembered when she loved him and he had been content spending the rest of his life being held by her.

“You’ve lost weight.”  Pepper said as she pulled back and held Tony’s face in her hands.

Tony shrugged.  “I’m on vacation, Pep.  You don’t have to work out when you’re on vacation.”

Pepper gave him a sad looking smile and Tony knew he looked bad.  He hadn’t eaten much the past few weeks, what little he did eat was always from David and then in the hospital he felt too sick to even think about food.  It was easier and funnier to pretend that he had lost muscle mass because he wasn’t saving the world every other week instead of losing body weight because he was starving and violently ill.

“Well, sit down.  I already ordered pizza and I am not missing my shows just because I’m spending the night here instead of my apartment.  There are reruns on and I know you’ve been missing them too.”  She said, as if she had the whole evening already planned out for them.

It was just like they were picking up their friendship where it had left off.  Tony felt no need to talk about their failed relationship, about how they had been in love, how they still were in love, or about how they just weren’t working anymore.  It was sad and it hurt, but Tony didn’t need to talk about it right now.  It was more than enough that Pepper was his friend right here and right now.

He was safely nestled between Pepper and Rhodey, the two of them constantly there to give him a soft and friendly touch, a hand through his hair or on his shoulder, them leaning in to whisper about the show they were watching.  It was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is getting close to being done, but it's been fun.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. More is coming soon.  
> I hope you liked it and feel free to comment.


End file.
